Friday, and after The Dream, I knew I’d say or do something moronic to embarrass myself. Like “accidently” stumbling onto his lips.
Just before lunch, as I was typing a message to a sales rep out of the office, the computer froze. I wasn’t sure if I’d done something wrong or if it was a coincidence, but either way I didn’t care. I couldn’t contain my smile as I called IT, taking out my sea glass to play with it for a minute. Yes, I should feel guilty, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel bad about desiring him. It was a chemical reaction in my body and nothing I could control. I wasn’t acting on it, but I would no longer feel guilty for wanting to drool over those dimples and run my hands down his hard, taut stomach. The body wanted what the body wanted.
When the tech arrived, I had to resist the urge to pout. It wasn’t Grant. He’d always come before, and suddenly I wondered if he was even at work. Did that mean he wouldn’t be at bowling tonight?
“Oh, hi. I’m Jillian.” I extended my hand to the balding forty-something man. “We haven’t met. Usually...” I paused. “Usually someone else comes.”
The man snorted and rolled his eyes, leaving me wondering what it meant. “Yeah, Grant. I know. He’s at lunch now, so you’re stuck with me.”
I bit my lip to keep from smiling. “Oh, okay. Well, thanks for coming to help.”
The man grunted. “Yeah, well, maybe next time you can plan your little ‘episode’ for when you know he’s here.”
“Huh?” I tilted my head, completely lost to his end of the conversation.
“I’m so sick of all you girls purposefully breaking shit so you can flirt a little with him for a few minutes. It’s causing too much of a paperwork hassle for me. Enough already!” He clicked a final button and the computer started back up, good as new.
“I’m sorry; I have no idea what you’re talking about. My computer froze, I called IT. I didn’t do it to see him. I have a boyfriend. I just needed help.”
The man scooted out of the cubicle and waved a hand dismissively. “Sure, sweetheart. ‘Cause you couldn’t hit the restart button on your own?”
He walked away, not leaving me the chance to respond. My cheeks burned with embarrassment at his accusation, but more so that I didn’t think to try to restart it on my own before calling for help. Everyone knows that should have been step one, but I was so preoccupied with the idea of seeing him that I forgot to try it first.
I groaned and plopped my head down on the desk. Who was I kidding? I was crushing on Grant big time. I couldn’t deny it any more. Maybe I was kidding myself about bowling tonight only being about making new friends. If that’s all it really was, I wouldn’t feel like the wind got knocked out of me right now. Maybe I shouldn’t go after all; I didn’t need more temptation.
I was packing up my purse and logging off the computer to head to lunch when a light knock came from behind me. It was Tonya, smiling happily.
“You’re still coming out with us tonight, right?”
I let out a breath and thought about how to respond. “I really appreciate the offer, but I think I’m going to pass this time.”
Tonya crossed her arms over her chest, reminding me of Ava. “Oh come on, don’t be a wuss. We won’t beat you too bad. It’ll be fun!”
I shook my head no again. “I’m sorry. I’m just not up for it.”
Tonya bent down and opened up her massive purse that could have doubled for an overnight bag. “Look, I even got you a company bowling shirt. And with Emmalee out with the food poisoning, we’re down a player. Come on! You’ll totally be helping us out.”
She tossed me the shirt, and I had no more excuses to say no. “All right, I’ll go.”
That night, I followed behind Tonya to the bowling alley and immediately ducked into the restroom to change. I’d already packed a change of clothes that morning before I left. I slipped on the micro-short white jean shorts. They were by far the skimpiest pair I owned, but they highlighted my short, tan legs. I tied the bowling shirt in the back so it cinched a little more at my waist and touched up my mascara and lip gloss before taking a deep breath