his own, deepening the kiss into something that wasn’t even a kiss anymore.
My thoughts scrambled as he gripped my hips and squeezed down hard, his pace even faster then. I could feel myself climbing up that mountain, rushing toward the edge in desperation, teetering around the peak.
The heat of his skin.
The wetness of his mouth.
My limbs tingled with anticipation as I ached my head back and jumped, sailing, flying, free-falling through the air as wave after wave of pleasure wracked my body. I let out a soft moan though it was quickly swallowed up by Trace’s mouth as he drew out my orgasm with expert precision and then finally let himself go, burying his face into my neck with a delicious rumble that made my own chest vibrate.
His body went slack against mine, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. Neither one of us moved or said anything as we lay there holding each other in the aftermath. All of the rush and adrenaline and unquenchable need had finally left my body and all I felt was sated calmness and serenity, like I was finally right where I was supposed to be.
Trace pulled back a few moments later, learning himself on one elbow as his eyes found mine in the dim light effortlessly. A wide smile tugged at the corners of his lips.
“What are you so happy about?” I teased and then laughed as he lowered his face and nuzzled his nose against mine like he had done earlier.
It was such a simple gesture, but it made my stomach flutter as though a swarm of butterflies had taken flight through my belly. I could so get used to feeling like this—to being like this with him. To the way he was holding me and looking at me. To how protected I felt when I was in his arms. And then a painful thought rose to the forefront.
What if I lost him again?
What if we were just doomed to repeat the past all over again?
My breath caught as I struggled to take in a full lungful of air. Shit. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t—
“Hey,” called Trace, his eyes tracking something on my face. “You’re not going to lose me, Jemma. I’m not going anywhere. Just take a deep breath,” he said as he sat back and pulled me up with him so that I was sitting in front of him.
I shook my head frantically as he pulled on his boxers. “I can’t catch my breath.”
“Just try to relax. Everything’s fine,” he said soothingly as he grabbed the blanket from the edge of the bed and wrapped it around my shoulders. “I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“But you don’t understand. You don’t have the full picture. There’s things you don’t know.” Words were spilling out of me like vomit and I really needed to shut my mouth.
“Then tell me, Jemma.”
My lips parted at the gentleness of his voice. Every cell in my body wanted to pour itself out to him, to lay down every secret I’d kept from him and beg for his forgiveness, but I knew I couldn’t do that. There were things he couldn’t know yet; dangerous things that could harm him. “I don’t want to hurt you, Trace.”
“Then don’t,” he answered as if it were that simple.
But it wasn’t that simple. Our past was just as tied to each other as our future was and I couldn’t see us having one without the other. What would happen to us when he learned the truth? When he found out what I’d done to him and how long I’d lied to him about it? The closer we got, the more fearful I became of the truth coming out.
Of losing him.
A part of me wanted to tell him everything right then and there. To unburden myself with the secrets I’d shouldered for far too long. But I wasn’t sure he could handle it and I refused to take the risk.
Not when it came to Trace.
Pulling in a shaky breath, I pushed the uncomfortable thoughts back into the dark recess of my mind. If I didn’t think about it, it couldn’t hurt me and that had to be good enough for now. Besides, we’d gone this far and this long without any of his memories breaking through. Nothing had cracked thus far. The spell had to be doing something right.
That had to mean something.
“Talk to me,” he said as he picked up my hand and held it, his eyes beckoning me to