beside me, not close enough to touch, but close enough that I could feel the heat and energy emanating from his skin as though it were trying to reach out and embrace me.
It always felt that way being next to Trace. Like an unseen hand to hold, a hug that wrapped itself around me during even the darkest of moments. The ghost of a love that stayed with me no matter how far I ventured. It was hard not to yearn for the safety of that feeling, not to succumb to it wholly and without abandon.
Even when I knew I shouldn’t.
Even when I wasn’t supposed to.
Apparently, I didn’t have to worry about that tonight since Trace seemed very intent on giving me that space to work out my ‘confusion’. Perhaps he’d been weirded out about everything that happened tonight, and honestly, I couldn’t even blame him. No guy in their right mind would sign up for all of that drama.
I definitely owed him a behemoth of an apology.
“I’m really sorry about what happened before with Dominic,” I said, my gaze fixed on the television screen as he pulled up the movie we’d been watching earlier. “I hate that I’m bringing problems to your doorstep like this.”
He grunted, irritated. “He brought himself here.”
“You know what I mean,” I said, still not facing him as he fast-forwarded the movie to where we’d left off.
“You don’t have to apologize to me, Jemma, and never for something he did.”
I turned and met his eyes. “But he came here because of me—”
“He came here because he’s a bloodsucker with no humanity who decided to turn you into his pet project.” An angry frown tweaked his lips. “He’s lucky you’re still in love with him or I would’ve ripped his heart out of his chest.”
My heart careened against my ribs as a heavy jumble of guilt and shame washed over me. As much as I tried to protect Trace, to keep the past hidden from him out of fear that it would break him, he knew a lot more than I gave him credit for and he was handling it surprisingly well considering. Perhaps I needed to remind myself that it was only the past that could hurt him. Not the present. Not the future.
“Thanks for not…killing him.”
He made another grunting noise, clearly not as pleased with the end result as I was.
Releasing the breath I’d been holding, I turned back to the tv and watched as Trace continued to fast-forward the movie in search of the part we’d left off on before Dominic interrupted us.
Of course, it wasn’t long before my gaze drifted back his way. I couldn’t help but notice the foot of space between us and wondered if he’d done that on purpose. With his legs crossed at his ankles, he was literally hugging the edge of the bed. I was certain that if he so much as sneezed the wrong way, he’d tumble right the hell off.
“Do you want to share the blanket?” I asked, hoping that my offer might coax him closer and maybe squash that guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was bad enough that I’d already taken over his house and his bed, now I was even hogging his nice plush comforter. The least I could do was offer to share. It was the decent, friendly thing to do.
His stormy eyes lifted to mine and stayed there as though he were trying to unriddle me. “You sure that’s a good idea?”
I honestly wasn’t sure of anything anymore, but I picked up the edge of the blanket and inched it to him anyway.
With his eyes moored to mine, he accepted the offer and slid under the comforter with me. While he wasn’t close enough to touch me, but body still hummed contentedly at his proximity as I turned my attention back to the television screen, vaguely aware that he was still staring at me.
After a moment, he pressed the play button and the movie continued right where we’d left off.
With my mind at ease, I relaxed into my pillow and sighed as the gentle current thrummed between us, safe and reassuring and as warm as the sun.
It wasn’t long before the remnants of my horrid day disappeared into the abyss of my mind, leaving only a clean canvas for the moment I was in. The movie I was watching. The boy I was watching it with. And for the first time in a very long time, I