to a criminal, made a family with that man, and when the repercussions of that life hit full-force she bailed.
Late one night, Shiloh had told me about her mother. A weak woman, who was tired of her husband being carted off to jail leaving her to fend for herself and four children. A weak woman who didn’t wise up and use one of the many opportunities while Lester was in jail to pack up her kids and leave. A selfish woman who’d waited for Lester to be released, then packed her shit up, left her kids, and took off.
The Shiloh who was staring up at me didn’t understand her worth. And I knew she didn’t learn that shit from her brothers. They adored their baby sister. They all pitched in and took care of her and each other. They’d created the family their parents didn’t. No, it was her parents who taught her she was worthless—easily tossed aside and left.
Fucking assholes.
My hand moved from her hip, pushing up the tee she wore, then I started gliding my fingers against her soft, warm skin.
“Tell me, baby, why wouldn’t I love you?”
“Because you deserve something—someone—better.”
“I deserve it?” I asked and Shiloh nodded. “First, no one deserves anything. No one is entitled to life’s good offerings. Nothing in life is free or given. You have to earn it. And you should understand that better than most. You were dealt a shit hand, yet you worked to overcome the obstacles your father built around you. You worked to earn your place as a cop, then you worked and earned your place on SWAT. You worked and earned respect. Don’t discount your accomplishments. You’ve struggled, fought, and preserved to earn every damn one of them.
“I know what I’ve done in my life to earn the love of a good woman. And make no mistake, Shiloh, I’ve worked my ass off my whole life to be the sort of man who can look at himself in the mirror and do it with pride. That’s not to say I haven’t slipped up. I have and my slip-ups were huge. The biggest one nearly cost me and Trey our lives. I put my team at risk. And I’m goddamn lucky I’m not blind. I lost my place in the Navy and spent way too much time feeling sorry for myself. But I snapped out of it. I worked to forgive myself and let go of the guilt. Hear this, Shiloh; I’ve earned you. I’ve worked my ass off to be the man you need. And I didn’t start to be that man when I met you; I’ve been working at it my whole life, waiting to give it to you. There is no one in this world better for me than you. And I know down to my soul there is no one better on the planet for you than me. No one can ever love you the way I do because you are mine. Your insecurities are mine. Your imperfections are mine. Your strength, your loyalty, your humor, your beautiful eyes, your body, your intelligence, your heart, your love. All of it belongs to me. You can wrap that up in your bitchy attitude when you’re scared. You can try to shut me out when you’re afraid to face something. And that’s okay because your fear is mine, too. I will not leave you. I swear it, Shiloh. I will love you through whatever life throws our way.”
Her fingers digging into my side suddenly loosened and she clumsily scrambled to climb on top of me. My hands went to her hips to steady her when she pitched to the side in her hurried effort to burrow into me.
And for the second time that night, I held my woman while she cried.
Shiloh’s body rocked with her tears. I slid my arms around her as tight as I could get them. And that was how we stayed. Her shaking and me absorbing her pain.
She finally broke the silence when she said, “Clive has to stop sending me letters.”
Thank fuck.
“I should’ve stopped him after I got the first one.”
Fuck yeah, she was getting it.
“At first I thought it was a grieving father’s right. His way of healing after he lost his daughter the way he did.”
No doubt Clive Hutchinson was grieving but that never gave him the right to hurt Shiloh. I didn’t remind her of this. Instead, I remained quiet.