together.
Reaching for the sheet, I bury my head in it and sob. And in a moment of blinding enlightenment, I spill over.
“I love you,” I scream as he sucks and lets me come in his mouth. He climbs over me, pulling down his sweatpants. In one fast thrust, he’s deep inside me and I’m not sure I stopped coming because I’m still contracting.
“That’s it.” His hands take mine and lace them above my head as his lips kiss and lick away my tears. Then he takes my mouth, and as he kisses me slow and lovingly, his cock fucking me hard, I die a thousand deaths.
My nails claw into his chest, my body convulsing while I come.
I’m screaming his name, that I love him, hate him as he fucks me like never before. It’s wild and primal and dangerous.
It’s Axel.
“Fuck. I can’t get enough. I’m gonna come, gonna fill this cunt up.”
He freezes and I watch as he comes undone and every filthy thing we both said, all the fighting and spanking has led to Axel’s body jerking into mine.
I look into his eyes and see into his soul. His very being is connected with mine.
Everything I need, want, and will forever be addicted to is in him. It’s not the first time this has happened, but it’s definitely the most powerful.
He lays his forehead on mine, his warm breath, which smells like smoke and coffee, makes me calm and secure. He wants me. I think he wants me way more than he can understand.
He doesn’t pull out and when he finally does, he rolls over and stares at the ceiling. The expression on his face is not one of anger, but it’s somewhat tortured, a small frown, as if he’s concentrating. I’m sure he’s trying to figure out what to do with my love.
But for some reason, I don’t care. I do love him. I feel free and happy. If he breaks my heart… I can’t even go there because I’m betting on him.
“I need a shower.” I stretch.
“No.” He sits up and kicks off his sweats, which I now realize never made it past his knees.
“But, I have to. I… smell like sex,” I whisper, and he laughs. Leaning over, he kisses me hard yet tender.
“I like you smelling like I just fucked you, with my seed inside you.” He stands and pulls on a pair of jeans.
“Are you upset because I told you I love you?” He ignores me and lights up a cigarette, grabbing a black tee. “Maybe you have feelings for me?”
His eyes narrow as he inhales his cigarette. “You have five minutes to get dressed and get your ass on my bike.”
I stand, our eyes locked as I slowly smile.
“I’ll be ready in two.”
ANTOINETTE
Riding on the back of Axel’s bike to Charlie’s diner has become one of my favorite things. It’s exciting and intimate.
I overheard an old lady complaining about the prospects allowing anyone on the back of their bikes. At first I thought, Who cares? But now I get it. It’s a huge deal being on the back of Axel’s bike. Like I would freak if one day he drove up with another girl on his bike.
I can’t even go there. It’s bad enough to have “MJ” on his hand. I tighten my arms on him and try not to replay what happened earlier. I think I made a mistake, but I can’t take it back.
It’s not his fault that my ghosts like to pick certain times to mess with me. And it’s my birthday, so if I can ever get away with it, today’s the day… Oh God, what did I do?
I’ll ask Charlie what she thinks, not Cindy or Dolly. I know what they’ll say.
Maybe Eve will stop in and I can ask her. What about Doug?
Crap, I screwed up. He’s pulling back. I can feel it in his stiff abs. Usually he’s one with the bike and I meld into him. This morning, he’s stiffer, less enthusiastic. But maybe I’m being overly sensitive.
It needed to be said. And nothing I said was untrue. It might have come out wrong, but no one’s perfect. And he spanked me. I need to focus on the humiliation of that.
Oh God, why did I tell him I love him?
I should have asked him who MJ was. He would have told me, and then it could be in the past like my ghosts. I’d move on. Constantly seeing it on his hand is what gets