his wishes known. And we didn’t because none of us could face it. And we were wrong to deny him that, we saw that… when it was too late.’ Her own voice broke then, she coughed to clear tears clogging up her throat. ‘I’ll never forgive myself for being a wimp. So if Charlie wants to have that conversation, don’t deny him, please. It’s only half an hour of your time and then you can forget about it but it’s important to him and it will make his passing more peaceful. Believe me.’
‘I can’t,’ said Robin. ‘I really can’t. I would if I could. I’m not good with words, putting feelings into sentences… Charlie is, he’s so emotionally intelligent, so eloquent, but I’m not. I can’t.’
‘Yes you really can,’ said Mary firmly. ‘Because you would be doing it for Charlie.’
‘I love him too much to even think about losing him, never mind talking to him about it, Mary,’ said Robin, his voice dissolving into his sadness. Mary tore off a piece of kitchen roll, handed it to Robin to mop up tears as they fell.
‘It’s just our way of coping when we try to pretend that things are carrying on as normal. Those pills are very good at masking the real truth too, making us believe that they’re doing more than they are. It’s time to work with the Oxycophine, Robin. They’re giving Charlie a new lease of life, so let him live the best version of it with all his loose ends tied up. Please.’
* * *
‘Ah here they are,’ said Charlie as Robin walked into the room with the large stewing pot and a ladle stuffed in his back jeans pocket. Mary went behind the bar for glasses; she found some ideal ones with glass handles on the stems.
‘Well doesn’t that smell Christmassy,’ said Luke as Robin lifted the lid and the aroma of warm wine and spices drifted out into the air.
‘I think we overdid the apples,’ said Robin. ‘There’s half an orchard in there.’
Mary began to ladle out the wine. ‘It’s always better when it’s left for a while, but who wants to wait?’
‘Not me,’ said Charlie. ‘Robin, go and get the chocolates from my suitcase. You can’t have mulled wine and no chocolate.’
‘Yes you can,’ rebutted Robin. ‘Your cholesterol levels will be through the roof, Charles Glaser.’
‘Mary has to have first pick as promised after she thrashed me at draughts,’ Charlie nodded towards her. ‘I haven’t forgotten.’
‘I shan’t argue with you, Charlie,’ she returned.
‘Oh go on then.’ Robin relented and went to fetch them.
Radio Brian was now back from his lunch and sounded as if he’d had a couple of glasses of mulled wine himself as he was slurring his words. He’d just introduced that famous carol, ‘While Leopards Washed their Clocks by Night’.
Everyone sat absorbing the music, clustered around the crackling log fire, and sipped, feeling the warmth of the spicy wine spreading through them.
‘This is bloody strong, Mary,’ said Luke. ‘Well done.’
Mary stuck a thumb up by way of an answer as she had just bitten into a chocolate cherry. A burst of cherry brandy flooded into her mouth and out through her lips.
‘Oh yes, I meant to warn you about those,’ said Charlie. ‘They’re like little bombs. I buy them from a chocolatier in Lincoln. They’re called Cherry Grenades.’
‘They’re gorgeous,’ said Mary, when she had swallowed enough of it to talk. She had a small blob of chocolate on the side of her lip that made her look totally endearing. Bridge wished that Jack would reach over and wipe it away with a tender thumb, or better still kiss it off. He did neither.
‘I wish it could be Christmas every day,’ said Charlie with a yearning sigh. ‘I love it. We haven’t had snow like this at Christmas for so long, have we? I prayed for it this year it and it seems I’ve been answered.’
‘Stop praying, Charlie,’ said Jack. ‘You’re obviously too magic for your own good.’
‘Or at least pray that I’ll win the lottery,’ said Luke with a snort.
‘The wind’s dropped,’ said Robin, pointing to the window. ‘The snow is falling straight down instead of blowing all over the place. It looks a little calmer out there.’
‘All is calm, all is bright,’ trilled Charlie. ‘We should go carol singing.’
Five heads turned to him.
‘I think you’ve had too much of that wine,’ said Robin.
‘No, I mean it. We’ll pair up and sing at the door and the most tuneful wins a