to do what I was trained to do. I have qualifications in typing and shorthand and I am a competent audio typist and diary keeper. I can work by myself without the need for supervision and as a team member. And, as you ask for me personally to fill in on such occasions whenever your regular PA is absent, it would be easy to presume that my services are satisfactory to your exacting standards.’
Clearly, Kimberley had learned this by rote in preparation for such a dialogue, thought Jack.
‘So you think you’re a team player,’ said Jack, tapping his pen against his desk. He really did have to address this point all guns blazing, felt a bubble of mischief fizzing in his voice box.
‘I most certainly am. And I’d be a wonderful ambassador for the company.’
Right into my hands, thought Jack.
‘And if I… for instance, asked you to procure a suitable gift for a client, in order to impress them, how would you be able to cope with that particular duty?’
Kimberley beamed, tossed a newly highlighted curl back over her shoulder.
‘I’d be very confident. I have a good eye for quality and I love shopping.’
‘What about… someone within the company? An important member of staff for instance?’
‘The same,’ said Kimberley. ‘I’d make an informed match of product to person.’
‘You wouldn’t, then, buy a frumpy, insulting present for a woman in her early twenties.’
A pause. ‘Don’t think so.’ That smile not quite so sure now.
‘Or buy her a bottle of old lady perfume, a tartan shopping bag, a headscarf square for her or… jellied fruits?’
Kimberley’s face went from porcelain to traffic-light red faster than his Maserati went from zero to sixty.
Jack continued. ‘And if a member of staff was going through a particularly hard time in their personal life and I asked you to send them an email enquiring if they had any idea when they’d be returning to work, always mindful of the sensitivity of the situation so that they were in no doubt their welfare was considered… need I go on?’
Kimberley gulped, once, twice, opened her mouth to speak, closed it again, carried on colouring forward to puce.
‘I thought not. I need to be able to trust a PA absolutely, the way I trusted Mary. You see, Kimberley, I can’t tell you how good Mary was at her job, how brilliant, how perfect because she did it so well, I didn’t notice until she stopped doing it. Ironic isn’t it? She was too valuable to be let down in the way she was by Butterly’s and I wouldn’t want that to happen to any member of my staff again. I bear the responsibility of not writing to her myself when her father died, or buying her Christmas presents that reflected her worth instead of leaving it to someone else who put chagrin above duty to me. It was totally remiss of me to delegate in both cases, but still… I think you can guess where I’m going with this. Have a nice weekend. You’ll be returning to finance on Monday, I’ll organise a temp to fill in until I can find a permanent replacement for Mary, because I don’t think you’re quite what I’m looking for.’
Kimberley got up, her face reddening further, which Jack didn’t think was possible. She looked not unlike a radish with high blood pressure and he appeared to have killed her sashay stone dead.
Jack smiled as the door closed. If only Mary had been here to witness the moment of revenge on Kimberley that was hers by rights. If only she could feel the regret that was sitting like a jagged boulder inside him so she could savour her revenge on him too. He should have stood by that slit-mouthed snowwoman and said, ‘Look Mary, I don’t want you to take any other job because you are the cleverest, most intuitive, best person I know and I don’t want to imagine you not being in my life. I want you to accept a whopping big pay rise because I think you’ve more than earned it, and much more than that, I want to take you out to dinner because I think you’re fucking gorgeous and I wish I’d kissed you when we were carol singing.’
But he hadn’t, he’d shaken her hand and wished her well. His head fell into his hands and he groaned aloud. What a plonker.
He wondered what she was doing now, how she was faring working for Bridge who had been a PA