I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,235

present.

She’s even more gorgeous in person. I’m practically terrified to go any closer to her. She calls to me in a way I can’t describe or justify. Her hair is a messy halo on the white pillow and her skin looks soft and smooth, so much of it exposed in the skimpy silk nightgown she's wearing. I only went to her to pull the thin sheet over her body, covering her curves although they’re still prominent under the sheet.

“Robin?” I whisper her name and clear my throat when it comes out raspy. Jay’s gone. He brought me here and left to get supplies. Things he said she’d need. I’ve never been to his home until now, but I couldn’t have guessed for even a second it would be this nice.

He said it’s for her. That it’s always been for her, although he didn’t know it until he was ready to take her. The way he talks about her has me on edge. He’s obsessed, but only with healing her. Only in righting his sins.

All I know about her is her name, that she tried to kill herself, and that she has a past with Jay. He didn’t give me anything else. He said she’d have to tell me.

“Jay?” the woman calls out again, her voice groggy as she rises on the mattress, bracing her arm behind her and slowly sitting up. She puts a hand on her forehead and lets out a small moan.

I hesitate only a moment more before taking three large strides closer before stopping at the foot of the bed. “You’re safe,” I tell her gently, raising my hands with my heart racing in my chest. “I promise I will keep you safe,” I say and the words come out with strength. I will keep that promise if it’s the last thing I do.

“Jay,” she says softly, reverently almost and it shocks me. My brow pinches as I step closer to her, rounding the bed, but careful not to touch it. I don’t even brush my knees against it. I don’t want to give her any indication at all that I’ll touch her.

“Jay went out,” I tell her and try to breathe, I try to explain what’s going on. “He wants to help you, and I’m here to make sure you’re safe.”

The small woman looks up and flinches. Her eyes go wide before she backs away slowly. So slowly it looks like the sheet barely moves as it falls down her body. She sucks in a breath and visibly swallows before I add, “I’m John.”

“John?” she asks in a whisper before her eyes dart to the door and then back to me.

She’s disoriented. The drugs are still coursing through her system, but the fear has finally set in.

“It’s okay, I won’t let Jay hurt you,” I tell her, again raising my hands palms outward as though she's a wounded animal.

Her eyes fall to the sheet and then look back to me before she sits up to look at me, her gaze searching my face for something. She finally asks, “Does Jay want to hurt me?” Her eyes flicker to the door again and then back to my eyes.

The dim light in the room reflects in her eyes. Swirls of forest greens and flecks of gold. She has the most gorgeous eyes I’ve ever seen, but they're riddled with questions and fear.

“No,” I answer her immediately. “He wants to help you.”

She nods once and then the fear seems to dim although she unconsciously picks at the blanket on the bed.

“Are you alright?” I ask her, feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach that there’s more between her and Jay than I realize. She’s more afraid of me than him. I can feel it. “I promise, I have no intention of hurting you,” I tell her and slow my movements to make it obvious I’m going to sit on the edge of the bed. I can’t have her being afraid of me.

“I’m not well, no,” she says softly, shaking her head just slightly but her eyes stay on mine, brimming with curiosity now. “Are you alright?” she asks me.

It throws me off. “No,” I say after a moment. “This isn’t alright with me,” I add with my throat tight. “I didn’t know,” I explain, and I tell her more as a plea for forgiveness. I swallow hard and glance at the door. I should take her away. I can leave with her right now.

All the evidence will