I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,236

point to me though and if she presses charges, I’m fucked. But what other choice do I have?

“If you want to leave-” I start to say, but she cuts me off.

“What didn’t you know?” she asks me, licking her lips and tilting her head to the right. Her eyes are wide with curiosity more than anything else.

“I didn’t know he’d taken you,” I admit to her in a low voice that’s barely audible. She nods her head once.

“So you’d let me leave?” she asks in a small voice. Her eyes travel to the door as if watching herself simply walk away, but when her gaze stops, the lights turn on and Jay stands in the doorway. My eyes adjust to the light slowly, but they only focus on her and her reaction to seeing Jay. She hesitates a moment, her grip on the blanket tightening as she takes him in.

“Jay?” She whispers his name as if it’s a question. As if it can’t really be him.

My gaze turns to Jay, and I watch as his lips twitch up into a smile and his expression softens. He opens his mouth to say something, but instead he licks his lips and reaches behind him to close the door. A foreboding click echoes off the walls as he walks closer to her.

“How’s your head?” he asks her.

“Jay, are you alright?” she asks and then crawls to the edge of the bed slowly, moving away from me and closer to him. Her eyes brim with tears, and she bites down on her bottom lip to keep them from spilling over.

He walks slowly toward her, and the sound of his boots smacking softly on the wooden floor is the only thing I can hear other than my racing heart.

He cups her chin in his hand and brushes his thumb along her lips, and she seems to lean into him. She reaches up and wraps her small hands around his wrist. “I know it’s scary, but I thought you’d understand.”

“You can’t do this, Jay,” she pleads with him as a tear slips down her cheek. The way she’s talking to him, the way she pleads with him and ignores me completely shifts something deep inside of me. She cares for him. It’s so fucking obvious.

“It’s not just for me, little bird,” Jay says in a pained voice. “I would have left you alone forever, I promise you I would have.”

She shakes her head, rising on her knees to interrupt him. As the bed creaks with her shifting weight, he presses a finger to her lips, hushing her. “You wanted to hurt yourself,” he tells her and her strength vanishes. She moves her cheek from his hand and seems to back away from him.

“Jay, you need help,” she whimpers.

“Ah,” Jay says. “And so do you, my little bird.”

Chapter 7

Robin

I’m practically shaking. My legs feel wobbly and my head is pounding, but I’ve never felt so aware.

It’s him. It’s really him. After all this time, he’s finally come back to me. But this is a nightmare even I never dared to have. An outcome I couldn’t have predicted.

“You’re broken, Robin,” Jay says and his voice breaks my thoughts. I stare at him, his eyes never looking so cold and his voice never feeling so devoid of emotion before. But he’s right here in front of me. His jawline sharper, his shoulders broader and his body filled out.

He’s no longer a scared little boy trying to protect me. He’s become a man in every way.

“Why did you do it?” he asks me, and my blood turns to ice. I flinch as the memory comes back full force. The cold wind whipping across my face, the branches lashing out and striking me as I ran through the forest. I ran because I had no choice. Liar! a voice hisses in the back of my head. I didn’t have to leave him behind. I’m a coward. I ran because I was scared.

“Why did you try to kill yourself?” Jay asks me and my eyes lift to his, my heart still hammering in my chest.

My throat feels dry and my voice comes out hoarse, but I’m grateful I misunderstood. I’m grateful he doesn’t bring it up. I wish I could go back; I wish I could pretend I never left him. “I’m not well, but I’m-” I try to explain, but he cuts me off.

“Broken!” Jay yells at me, and for the first time real fear flows through me.

“I’m sorry I left