I Have Lived and I Have Loved - Willow Winters Page 0,234

to me. He never touches me, but he likes to be close to me. And I like it too although I don’t tell him. “Well, you be a wolf and break the window, and I’ll be a bird. Together we can run away.”

“I saw a wolf kill a bird once on TV,” he says, but the boy’s voice is devoid of emotion and the shock of what he said makes me turn to face him, sitting up and pulling my knees into my chest.

“Why would a wolf do that?” I feel my brows pinch and my lips turn down; I know it’s obvious I’m horrified from what he said, and it only makes him laugh.

He shrugs his shoulders and picks at a spot on the concrete floor, a satisfied smirk on his lips. Something about the look on his face makes my heart do that fluttering motion again and I find myself inching forward, my toes barely touching his thigh. But we both notice that they touch.

“A wolf doesn’t have any reason to hurt a bird.” I stare at him, but he still doesn’t look up at me. “I don’t understand.”

The boy tilts his head to look at me and this time, the expression is something I’ve never seen before. There’s a rawness in the light gray flecks, a heat on the outer edge where his eyes get darker. Almost like a flicker of a flame giving his gaze an intensity that makes my body freeze, but not with a coldness, with a burning heat.

“I think he did it,” the boy starts to say, licking his lower lip and staring right through me, not caring that I can’t even breathe when he looks at me like that, “I think he did it just because he wanted to.”

Chapter 6

John

I pick at my thumbnail with my teeth as I stand in the corner of the dark room. I’m anxious, and adrenaline is pumping hard in my blood. Jay’s a fucking bastard. He didn’t tell me until it was already done.

I should go to the police and turn him in. I know that. Even as I pace in the small dark corner and stare at the woman on the bed, I know I should.

But I won’t. Jay set me up. He said it was collateral, using my car and leaving evidence behind although he won’t tell me what. I’m fucked. I grit my teeth remembering how he smiled at my anger.

I don’t know what to do other than to keep her safe, but as the time ticks by I start to wonder if I’d do more harm than good. If being close and looking out for Jay would bite me in the ass. And in this case, the woman caught in Jay’s gaze. I can’t tell him no though. A low rumble in my throat pisses me off. I know Jay needs me and I’m fucked because I just can’t walk away from him.

It reminds me of when we were kids. How I got along with everyone. A decent student and friendly by nature. Jay wouldn’t come around to the playground often then. Very rarely. But some days I’d sit by the edge of the broken swing set, and he’d show up then. It scared me when he’d stay away for a long time. He wouldn’t tell me where he went. All he’d say is that he wasn’t wanted, but I shut that shit down. I wanted him around because I knew he needed someone. I could sense how desperate he was, but he was too afraid to open up. Too afraid to let anyone in. Except me, I guess.

The other kids didn’t see him like I did. They mostly ignored him or, if they were honest with themselves, they were terrified to look him in the eye. That’s the air around him that pushed everyone away. And the moment anyone would dare to approach us, Jay was gone. Uninterested in associating with anyone else. Despite all that, we got along just fine, better than fine most of the time. I knew how to be a good friend to him and he did the same for me when times got rough. We got close fast. Almost like brothers.

“Jay?” the woman calls out softly, and the sheets rustle as she turns onto her side, pulling her knees into her chest. Her voice is ragged, but not with fear, which is surprising. Just exhaustion. And it pulls me from my memories and back to the