is already true so that we can build the resilience we’ll need to address all the things that have to get done today, tomorrow, and for all the days after that. This process of resetting our focus, in fact, is how we sustain our energy in the face of the difficulties, setbacks, and betrayals that automatically accompany every worthwhile life endeavor.
It’s actually not that hard, when you get into it. You just make small efforts all throughout the day to see the good, see the good, see the good. Reminding yourself to notice what’s okay, what’s wholesome, what’s sweet, who’s smiling, who’s holding hands, who’s taking care, and all the rest. Then, slowly, slowly, you start to see good everywhere. Kind of like buying a Toyota hatchback. Suddenly you just see Toyota hatchbacks on every little side street. Not because there’s more on the road, obviously. But just because your eyes become attuned to their presence. With Toyota hatchbacks, this doesn’t really matter all that much. But with negativity bias versus seeing the good it matters a whole lot. Why? Because the negativity bias makes us tight and small and scared. And seeing the good opens us up to all the good that’s already right here in front of us and starts to prime us to find ways to be generous. Let’s break this down into an easy-to-integrate daily practice.
A Little Meditation
SEE THE GOOD
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The cool thing about this exercise is that after practicing this while sitting on a cushion or chair, you can take it out into your life and do it anywhere you are, anytime you want. I do this one a lot in my own life, while I’m riding the bus or walking to work, and it never fails to lift my mood, at least a little bit.
Step One: In Your Chair
Let’s start this off sitting in a chair. As always, be comfortable. You want to strike a balance in your posture between alert and relaxed, but with a real lean toward relaxed. If you want, you can close your eyes between some of these sentences. Otherwise, just let your eyes go a little soft while you read. Now start to track your body. What are you feeling right now, in your chest and torso, your face and neck? See if you can release any tension that seems extra.
Now, from this semi-kind-of-relaxed state, think of something good. Could be anything. You love your cat. Perfect. You’re finally single and it’s awesome. Great. It’s summertime. Let your mind run amok in goodness. Notice the littlest, funniest, happy-making things. And do this for at least five minutes.
Great! You have now seen the good. Don’t worry if it was a struggle. Don’t worry if nothing happened. We’re just building habits here. We’re not enlightened yet.
Step Two: On the Move
Now that you’ve accomplished seeing the good in your chair, it’s time to take it on the road. If you want, you can write this down—write “See the Good” on a sticky note and leave it on your desk or bathroom mirror. And then when you remember, orient your mind toward what’s going well in that moment.
Then try to do this at least three times in the next twenty-four hours. You can start right now. You’re reading this book, and that’s good! Or maybe you are sitting somewhere comfortable or drinking yummy tea. There is good in this moment.
It’s helpful to do this at the beginning of the day, and also at the end. When you wake up, take stock of something positive. And before you fall asleep, notice one thing that is going well for you.
Throughout the day, you can pause when you remember, and see the good. Maybe you just finished a delicious breakfast. Or you’re gonna be on time to your first meeting. Or your girlfriend just got a promotion.
You can orient toward the good as often as you’d like. And remember: there’s no need to push or control things here. You might not feel that much as you notice someone’s smile, receive a timely email, or write out a thank-you card. Remember that we’re training an attitude, not so much a feeling.
Step Three: Don’t Fool Yourself
One important caveat: “seeing the good” doesn’t negate the difficult. We’re not asking you to become some kind of Miss Pollyanna Sunshine who can’t stand to have a tough conversation. We’re simply balancing the negative with the positive in our lives, so that we don’t get weighed down by what’s challenging. Just