never said those words to a woman before, and I doubt I ever will again.
“The team flies out tonight. The mission is, well, it sucks. I don’t think some of us will come back. But I needed to tell you that I love you and explain that you need to move on with your life without me. I hoped by telling you more about my past that you’d understand why I am the way I am. You know more about me than any other person alive, and I trust you to keep the information private.”
She brushed at tears on her cheeks. He handed her a handkerchief from his pocket.
“I have to go,” he said. “It’s a long drive to the base, and I can’t be late. Tell me you understand.”
“No, dammit. I don’t understand.” She rushed into his arms. “I don’t want safe and secure. I want you.”
He kissed her. “I wish things were different.”
An alarm chimed on his phone.
“I really have to leave. That’s the alarm I set. I’ll barely make it in time as it is.” He lifted her chin until their gazes met. “Take care. Be happy. Find someone to love.” He kissed her and stepped away.
Turning on his heel, he walked away, his heart shattering at the sound of her tears behind him.
One of the things Benjamin hated about the military was hurry up and wait.
Hurry up and get to the base.
Hurry up and get on the plane.
Okay, now sit and wait around in South Korea. Got to have those perfect conditions to go.
He and the teams sat around for ten days. Days of running and rerunning the operational plans. Nights of pool or mindless television. No contact of any kind with loved ones at home. That last one shouldn’t have bothered Benjamin. It never had in the past, but this time? He was an antsy as virgin on her wedding night.
The guys were starting to get on each other’s nerves, too. He’d never seen his team like this. They needed to get this show on the road.
He walked outside for another of his twice-a-day jogs at the same time Lieutenant Commander Briggs exited the officers’ quarters.
“Sir,” Benjamin said, snapping a sharp salute.
“At ease, Blackwell. Walk with me a minute.”
“Yes, sir,” he said and fell in step with his superior officer.
“I hear this is your last mission.”
“Yes, sir. Not leaving the Navy. Just transferring to SEAL Instructor.”
“You’re a good soldier. Did you think about staying in the action within Naval Special Operations?”
“Yes, sir. I have thought about it.”
“You’d be an asset to other teams heading out on missions like this one.”
“Sir, finding the Navy may have saved my life. It made a confused boy into a man. BUD/s training was the hardest thing I ever tackled. It made me believe I could do anything, and I have. I want to give back to all those SEALs who went before me and those who’ve served with me. Training the next generation of SEAL does that. I want those who follow me in this life to be the best of the best and I can do that by being a part of their training.”
“Sounds like you’ve thought this out.”
“Yes, sir, I have. When we return from this mission, I’ll be permanently reassigned.”
“I hope Admiral Houser appreciates what he’s got in you.”
“Thank you, sir. I won’t let the Navy down.”
“I know you won’t. The other reason I wanted to speak with you is the mission is a go for this evening. Twenty-two hundred hours. Let your men know.”
Benjamin drew in a deep breath. “Yes, sir.”
Benjamin saluted and turned back toward the housing and rec center where teams had been stationed. He was glad the mission was finally a go. He was ready to get this done and over with. Maybe, with a little luck, he’d make it home to the woman he loved.
For the last ten days, Holly’s voice repeating “horseshit” in his head had finally broken through. She loved him and believed in him. Maybe it was time to give himself a break.
He had some major groveling to do when he got home.
At twenty-two hundred, the three SEAL teams loaded boats and left for North Korea.
The distraction teams did their job. Popov’s guards scattered, trying to fight back assaults from multiple directions.
Benjamin’s team went right up the middle, straight for the last known location for Popov. Their sniper, Cowboy, found a high location to cover their approach. Banger breached locked doors with ease. The few soldiers remaining inside