my eyes close because this could still go either way.
“Your attitude has been better this last month.” I’ve just gotten better at hiding it and actively not taking my frustrations out on my men. “We all see how much it’s costing you.”
“I’m fine,” I tell him instinctively. I haven’t let my personal issues interfere with the job, and even though he’s my closest friend, I haven’t come to him for advice. I haven’t reached out to anyone. My parents have noticed the distance, and even though my guys have been trying to get me to do stuff outside of work like they did in the past, I just can’t bring myself to do it. Focusing during work is one thing. Having a few drinks with the boys would probably end up with me getting emotional over losing her. I swallow again, frustrated, but not really with Flynn.
“You haven’t shaved in weeks. You look like a yeti.”
I got the impression from my interactions with Anna that she liked facial hair, so I’ve kept it. Also, it’s almost impossible to garner enough strength to care what I look like these days. Fuck, if I were on the outside looking in, if I were watching Flynn go through this, I’d probably have his mental health evaluated.
My friend sighs when I don’t respond, but being the nosy dick that he is, it doesn’t deter him.
“I watched her on the plane ride back from the Maldives.” Another flex of my hands on the steering wheel. Another clench of my jealous jaw. “She watched you.”
“She was too busy playing into Dani’s hands for that,” I argue.
“She loves you, too.”
Damn it. If she only did, that would change everything.
“You’re letting her slip away. The longer you sit here instead of going to her and laying it all at her feet, the greater risk that she’s going to find someone else who’s man enough to speak his mind.” I resist the urge to pull my gun from my hip to shut him up. “She’s a fucking ten, man. Probably a fifteen for any man who has fuc—”
I snap my head in his direction. “Finish that sentence and I’ll tell your mother you died in a training accident.”
There isn’t a smile on his face. He isn’t trying to goad me, and that hits a little harder than if he was.
“You know she’s going to move on. One day while you’re sitting outside of this building, she’s going to start entertaining the idea of finding someone else. You have an opportunity. Don’t waste it.”
I mull over his words for a while. If anything, it gives me a little more time to watch the doors to make sure she doesn’t leave.
“So tomorrow, I’m supposed to just walk up to her and lay it all out?”
“No. She has plans tomorrow night.”
“So Sunday? Monday?”
“Why put off ‘til tomorrow what you can do today.”
“Thomas Jefferson? Who knew you were such a patriot?” I mutter.
Chapter 38
Anna
“Are you getting enough sleep?”
I give my mom a practiced smile, but like any good mother, she can see right through me.
“If work is too much, I can ask your dad to cut you some slack.”
If work were my only problem, I’d be just fine. It’s the insomnia I can’t seem to manage without a few drinks each night that I’m struggling with. Since I’ve cleared out all the alcohol from my condo as a precautionary measure to not become an alcoholic, I’m left restless each and every night.
“I stayed up too late watching TV last night,” I lie. Well, it’s only a partial lie. I did lounge on the couch for countless hours with the television on, but I couldn’t focus on the home renovation show that was on mute.
She frowns at me briefly before plastering another smile on her pretty face, knowing I’m not being completely honest, but this isn’t the time or the place for confrontation.
“Ah, there are the Westons. Try to have a good time, dear.” Mom pats my arm before gliding away to mingle.
Since it’s a social event and expected, I have a glass of champagne in my hand. When I lifted it from the server’s tray, I told myself it was only for show. Drinking hasn’t had the same appeal it had in years past, but I’m giving myself a pass tonight, praying I can leave at the height of my buzz and actually manage some sleep tonight.
I know why I’m restless, why I toss and turn even when actively trying to keep my