Melissa is—and I’m just being honest here—she is abusive.”
“She’s not—”
“You said yourself that you can’t even be honest with your own therapist. What would she tell you if you could?” I pause. “You know she would say the same thing.”
When she doesn’t respond to this, I press on. “You can find another job,” I say. “One that doesn’t demand you have absolutely no life. One that gives you credit for your work, and pays you well, and has health insurance.”
She still doesn’t say anything, but I know she’s listening, so I continue. “What does your life look like five years from now? Even if it’s not me, do you have someone? Where are you living? You’re making good money, Carey, and you don’t even have an apartment to yourself, let alone own your own home—why would you? You’d never be there.”
“This is shitty, James! I’m only twenty-six! I’m still figuring things out.”
“I’m not trying to be shitty!” I turn in a circle, growing frustrated. “But how long can you use your age as a buffer against making a grown-up decision? I care about you. Not just because we had sex, but because I like you, and we’re in this fucked-up situation together. A lot of people are making a shit-ton of money from the Tripps, but this situation isn’t the best thing for any of us.”
She exhales slowly, but doesn’t say anything.
“Carey. Say something.”
“I do want my own house, okay? I want a house with land where I can have a dog and chickens and go for walks outside and get lost like I used to. And I want to actually be there, to have time to make it my own and not somebody else’s.”
I stop pacing, surprised by this kind of honesty. “These are all good things to want.”
We sit in silence for five, ten seconds. “Carey?”
“I’m thinking.”
Another moment of silence passes through the line. The wind picks up; a horn honks somewhere in the distance.
“And I do want a relationship.”
I don’t know what to say to this. The moment feels too delicate for me to try to make a pitch for this, for us.
“But it’s good for you if they stay together,” she says, finally, and I want to hit myself now for not trying to sway her to give me a chance. “You need this job.” She doesn’t say it with an edge or bitterness; she’s just using my résumé woes to argue her case for the status quo.
“Even if that’s true, is it worth both of us being miserable? I’m not sure. I want you to have those things, Carey, and I think we’re both resourceful enough to find something else. For you, something that gives you credit for all of your work. For me, something that helps me build my résumé back up.”
Before she has a chance to respond to this, my phone vibrates against my ear. I pull it back to see the name on the screen.
My pulse is a stampede. “Carey, Ted is calling me.”
“Ted Cox?”
The producer for Home Sweet Home. Why on earth is he calling me?
“Yeah. I should probably take this?” Did we fuck something up? Have Melissa and Rusty run naked and screaming into the street while Carey and I were negotiating our personal shit on the phone? “I’ll meet you back at the hotel in a bit.”
We disconnect, and I switch over to Ted’s call. My voice sounds high and tight. “Ted. Hi.”
“James. How are things going?” He must be in a crowded room because a few nearby voices come through nearly as clearly as his.
I go for vague, but honest: “About as well as could be expected.”
Ted lets out a quiet laugh that I barely catch over the hum of background noise. “The response to the announcement was astounding.” He pauses, lowering his voice. “I really need to make sure we stay on track here, James.”
Pacing, I hold back the words I really want to let out—Sounds like a conversation you should be having with Melissa and Rusty—and give him a noncommittal hum instead. He barrels on, “There’s some buzz that things aren’t great between the Tripps—a Blind Gossip post, a handful of vague tweets from bigger names—and so I think this tour needs to be more of a lovefest than it’s been so far.”
I … don’t even know how to respond to that. Is this guy for real? Keeping them from tearing into each other in public is challenge enough, and now he wants us to encourage