is thrilling since my helmet is ancient and I was thinking I should be buying a new one. As I check sizes, one of the women who looks about my age comes over and introduces herself.
“Hey, you’re new here? I’m Kami,” she says in a friendly manner.
“Oh, hi, I’m Hita. I just started working in the Trend Analysis group.”
The other young woman engineer joins Kami, introducing herself, “I’m Caroline, Kami and I work in the Dashboard group.” She looks around before noting, “There aren’t too many women over here in Engineering. You should join us for lunch.”
I nod before answering, “Yeah that would be nice.”
I’m used to working with guys, but it’s nice to meet up with some other women. I’ve been eating lunch with Mark, Avery, and Chris. I’ve yet to figure out if those guys talk about anything besides work and baseball. At home I stream the movie Money Ball, hoping it will give me enough background information to follow their conversations.
The day after the engineering meeting, I get an e-mail from Kami inviting me to join her and Carolyn for lunch. Now I wonder if that would break team etiquette, since I’ve spent the last few weeks eating with the guys.
Chapter 9 – The Rules
Since Juliette is living at home this summer, we wind up spending a lot of time on our weekends by her pool. Even better, her parents’ refrigerator is always full. As we start talking about the guys where we each work, her mom joins us.
Juliette turns to her and asks, “Any recommendations about dating guys you meet at work?”
“Tread lightly,” her mom replies.
Juliette looks surprised by this comment. “You worked with Dad, that’s how you two met.”
“Yeah, but I knew your dad for three years before we started dating.”
Juliette’s jaw drops. “I had no idea. You liked a guy for three years before you started dating?”
Her mom laughs before telling us, “No, I knew him for three years. That’s what’s so good about meeting a guy at work. You have a long time to get to know him. I was a project manager. We both got sent to Munich, Germany on a project with Siemens. It was only the two of us Americans. All the Germans left the office by six to go home and have dinner with their families. Three weeks of eating dinner together and spending the weekend sightseeing...” She pauses and smiles before continuing, “…changed our point of view.”
“Then I take it you don’t see any problems with co-workers dating?” I state.
Her mom takes a deep breath as I watch her formulate her response. “I wouldn’t recommend using work as your hook-up pool. Behaviors outside of work can easily be talked about at work and ruin your credibility. Also, if you start dating your boss, or your boss’s boss, you’ll either need to move jobs so you report to someone outside of your boyfriend’s chain of command, or you’ll need to leave the company. A manager will need to report a relationship with an underling to HR and legal. There are a number of high profile executives who’ve lost their job for dating people who work for them and didn’t report the relationship. The last thing you want is to have your name associated with a scandal. No one will hire you, you’ll become too high risk.”
“Dating an executive will get you fired?” Juliette asks in surprise.
“Typically, it’s not the dating that ever gets anyone fired. It’s the breakup that gets people. It opens companies up to too many legal issues. Boards and VC’s think if an executive is dating an underling, they’re not thinking strategically.”
“But what about co-workers?” I ask.
She crosses her arms and leans her body against the counter before responding. “No one cares if you keep it low profile and out of the office. Again, it’s the breakup that causes problems.” Looking at Juliette she continues, “Your dad and I worked in different buildings, and reported to different VPs. When we got back to the states and started dating, we kept our relationship out of work. When your dad asked me to marry him, a lot of people didn’t even know we were dating. Everyone was very supportive. Companies don’t mind stable relationships. What they don’t like is drama.”
After getting home that night, I think about what her mom said. I figure I’ll play it cool and see if any of the guys at work stand out. As I sit in front of my computer, I get