shit."
Her brows lowered. Her judgment of him filled the room.
He'd finally found something that turned her off him.
Stepping toward her, he stopped himself from getting close enough to kiss her. "I’m going to take a shower. Go ahead and let Rick know you're ready to leave."
He walked past her, needing to get some space. Knowing that he cared too damn much about her, he'd have to push her away. For her own good. For her sanity. For her safety.
Stripping off his jeans, he stepped into the shower. The blast of cold water stunned him into the present until the water warmed. He washed the smoke and stink out of his hair, his beard, and off his body. The last twenty-four hours were wasted. Gone from his head.
While he understood he'd gone off-rail, the sweet bliss he gained, removing time, removing the pain of the past, was worth the break from his life. He never wanted witnesses. It wasn't his intent to put his guilt and trauma onto others. But Tarkio members always had his back. He should've known they would stop by.
He should've known they'd contact Josie, even though he hadn't spoken to any of them about watching her every night.
Stepping out of the shower, he dripped water all the way across the hall to the bedroom. Ignoring the need to dry his body, he put on clean clothes and looked around for his boots. Not finding them, he strained to hear if Josie had left.
Not hearing a sound, he walked out in his socks and came to a stop at the sight of her sitting on the couch.
Glancing at the clock on the TV entertainment center, he gritted his teeth. It was almost five o'clock in the morning. Josie should be home, sleeping in her bed.
"Did Rick leave?" He walked around the sofa and picked up his boots.
"I don't know." She braced her elbows on her knees and cradled her head to the side, looking at him. "I'm staying because I don't think you should be alone."
"I'm fine." He tied the laces. "It won't be the last time I get in too deep."
"You drink a lot?"
"I do a lot of things a lot." He needed her to go home. "Go ahead and go."
"No."
"Josie..." He exhaled heavily. "What do you want from me?"
"What do I want?" She turned to him. "Chrischris asked me to come to you. He said you were asking for me."
"Hell." He walked over to the door. "I probably asked for every woman I've fucked. I was plowed and riding high, sweetheart."
She stood, grabbed her purse, and approached him. He opened the door and stepped back.
Josie walked out of his house and stopped before leaving. Turning slowly, she looked him in the eyes. "I owed you for saving Cami and me. I'm sorry for asking you to do something that only I was responsible for doing. I regret what happened at the casino. You've earned the right to treat me like a whore." Her throat muscles spasmed. "Goodbye, Paco."
Her gaze never wavered. She kept her chin in the air. Her shoulders, strong and proud.
Josie walked away from him and got in her car.
He swayed, holding onto the door handle. That's not how he wanted to make her feel.
Looking at Rick, he dipped his chin. She'd get an escort home.
She pulled out of the driveway and drove off. He closed the door. Alone in the house, he was left with the mess he'd created. Ignoring it all, he went to the bedroom and fell onto the mattress.
He hadn't treated her like a whore. Hell, until her, he'd enjoyed the women at the clubhouse, ready to spread their legs and do whatever he asked.
Josie was his, not a random hookup.
Staying away from her was going to kill him. If he didn't end up killing himself first.
Chapter 17
Josie
Banks stormed into the office. "George Cody is parked out front and says he's scheduled for a front panel repair. Why the hell didn't I know about that?"
Josie flipped the book around on her desk. "Right there. Three o'clock."
Banks leaned over the desk and punched the schedule. "Shit."
"Problem?" She clicked the end of the pen in her hand with her thumb, ready to reschedule customers.
"The guy is a dick and hard to deal with on any job." Banks shook his head and went over to the coffee maker. "Any left?"
"Fresh pot made fifteen minutes ago." She relaxed, knowing his anger wasn't her fault. "Do you want me to stay later?"
"No, hon. You can