through enough dark to be able to find my way through it.”
“What other dark stuff have you lived through, brown eyes?”
Shit.
What to tell him?
Well, obviously she couldn’t tell him about Rex or Forrest. Not here. She didn’t think there were ears on them in the booth, but she couldn’t risk it.
“When I was four, my daddy told me he was going to the store to buy me a dolly. It was this doll I’d wanted for so long. I was quite obnoxious about how much I wanted her. She had this beautiful red-blonde hair and the prettiest dress with lace around the bottom of it.
“I was so happy. I waited for hours for him to return. Mama finally had to force me into bed. If I think about it now, I can remember the pinched look on her face, the smell of Scotch on her breath. Mama didn’t drink Scotch. It was unbecoming of a lady to get sloshed, so the most she ever had was a civilized glass of wine with dinner.”
She took a deep breath, let it out slowly.
“As you may have guessed, he never came back.”
“Baby…”
“I just never understood why he said he was going to get that doll, you know? Why did he not just kiss me goodbye and go? Why promise me something that made me think he was going to return?”
“Fucking asshole,” he grumbled, dragging her against his chest. She snuggled into him. The hurt was an old one. And of all the things that had happened to her, this one should be the least painful.
But it wasn’t. It still hurt. It still had the power to unravel her.
He ran his hand up and down her back. He didn’t say anything. Just held her. Human contact was something she hadn’t had in a long time before Ink. And she hadn’t realized how much she had craved it.
“Mama was never an easy person. She was strict. She had high standards. But after he left, she kind of fell apart. She stopped getting out of bed, getting dressed, even eating. I was so confused. I was only four. Then one day we ran out of food in the house and I must have got hungry so I left the house and went to the neighbors. I guess I must have looked a sight. Because I got sent off to my grandmother’s house. She was just as strict as Mama was, but at least I got fed and washed and watched over. Eventually, I went back home. Mama was different after that. She never smiled anymore. She picked at everything I did. Her lessons were harsh and never-ending.”
He kissed the top of her head. “Sounds like your childhood ended the day he walked out of your life.”
“Yeah. Guess that’s about right. There were better times. Sometimes she’d find a decent man. They’d start dating. And for a while, she’d be happy. She’d smile. But eventually, they’d leave and she’d grow depressed again.”
“Fuck, brown eyes. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s nothing like what happened to you…”
“Hey.” He tilted up her chin, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “Not a competition, okay? And for what it’s worth, I think your dad was a damn idiot for walking out on you. For missing out on the beautiful, amazing, kind woman you are.”
“I…I…I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Brown eyes?” He gave her a worried look. She didn’t blame him. She knew she had to sound half-crazed.
“Please, let me go to the bathroom.”
“Of course.” He moved out of the booth and she shot out before he could reach around and help her. She raced towards the bathroom without looking back. The panic attack was clawing at her.
She couldn’t give in. Not yet.
She stumbled her way into the bathroom, grateful to see that it was empty. She gripped hold of one of the sinks, staring at herself in the mirror.
Hating the image that stared back at her.
Liar. Liar. Liar.
She wasn’t beautiful. She wasn’t sweet. Or kind.
She was scum.
Falling to her knees, she let out a sob. She couldn’t afford to fall apart. Not here. Not now. But she also knew she couldn’t continue with this date.
He had to know the truth.
She was the worst sort of person. And she didn’t deserve him.
Ink knew something was wrong. He just had no damn idea what.
He paced up and down outside the bathroom door.
Fuck it.
He was going in. If someone’s sensibilities got disturbed by his presence in the women’s bathroom, well he…
He simply didn’t give a