I asked, as she literally cleaned up my father’s mess.
She rolled her eyes and poked me in the chest as she grabbed more paper towel. “You, dummy. Who else? Now get out of here, before Billy makes it worse.”
I went over to where my mother was staring blankly at the TV, kissed her forehead, grabbed my coat, and walked out.
As soon as the air hit my face, I felt sane again, my head clearing. I walked out onto the sidewalk and ordered a Lyft to take me back to the hotel and looked at the time. It was only two. I’d been at my parents’ for less than an hour and I’d almost punched my father in the face.
All that therapy, all those years trying to not let him push me like that. In the end, I’d given him what he wanted and had left my sister and my mother in there to fend for themselves, like I always did. My mother would never leave my father. I knew that, but my sister and Blue could get away from this. They could get some distance from this chaos.
I needed to get her farther away from here, give her a chance to know what it was like to not have them a phone call away. Always needing her to do something for them. Always creating a crisis to lure her back. A thought of her and Blue going shopping at Sturm’s popped into my head. I imagined them in my apartment, sitting on the patio away from here. But she would never go for it. She wouldn’t leave them, not beyond the Tristate area, and so neither could I.
Even if it meant giving up what I wanted most.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Julia
What if I showed up at your door in nothing but a parka and a smile?
I sent the text and sat with my stomach doing back flips. I was desperate to see Rocco. I’d been wanting to text him all day and had resisted, but now it was almost 5:00 p.m. and I figured he’d be done at his parents and up for a visit.
I sat there waiting for a funny response like I usually got, but after seeing the three dots pop up on the screen and disappear, I started to fear something bad had happened.
Finally a message appeared and it was not what I expected.
Hey, muñeca. I might not be the best company tonight.
I wanted to reach for him through the phone. I could sense the heaviness just from those few words. I was debating whether to call him or not when his number flashed on my screen.
I took the call after the first ring.
“Hey, sorry for the dramatic text.” His sigh sounded so weary. He was hurting. I could tell. “I’m just tired.”
“That’s okay. Are you sure some company wouldn’t help?” I didn’t want to push him, but I also knew how much he craved physical connection, how he clung to me on the nights we spent together. “I have some of Pura and Yolanda’s food to sweeten the deal.”
He chuckled at that. “I ate with Blue and Sofia here at the hotel and they just went back to my place.” Another exhale. “Things at my parents went—”
He stopped there, but he didn’t have to say. I knew.
“Are you just bad company, or do you want to be alone?”
He sighed and this time it sounded like relief. “I don’t want to be alone.”
“Then I’m coming over.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to put you in an awkward position with your parents.”
“Fuck that. I’ll be there in thirty. I have the Lyft app open already. The thirst goes both ways here. Text me your room number.”
He laughed then. “I will. Why don’t I set up a Lyft for you? It’s a long way.”
I was already up and stuffing clothes into my overnight bag. “Rocco, you’re in Long Island City. It’s a twenty-minute drive.”
“I’ll be waiting.” The relief and longing in his voice broke something in me. For how tough he was, sharp in business, hungry and ambitious, Rocco in some ways was still a lost boy, never sure if he was enough for people to stick around.
As I walked out of my room and went downstairs, I found my parents watching TV in the living room. I knew they would not let me sneak out with an overnight bag without getting at least some kind of explanation. I went to put on my coat and UGGs, trying to think of what