breakfast, Rocco? Did you go to that place you like with the Britos?” As soon as the words were out of Sofia’s mouth, I knew there would be trouble. My dad immediately leaned forward in his chair, sucking his teeth.
“Oh, you went and saw ‘The Coach’ first. Figures, we would be sloppy seconds.” He turned to my mother. “Aren’t you glad your son made time for you after he was done kissing up to that meddling jerk-off?”
Sofia looked at me, an “I’m sorry” written all over her face. I shook my head and said nothing as my father ran his mouth.
Looking a little more sober after eating some food, my mother just shook her head at my father. “Leave him alone, Billy. He doesn’t kiss anyone’s ass; the Britos love Rocco, and they did a lot for him.” Her face looked pained and in that moment I could read in her face all the regret that my mother numbed herself from with alcohol and pills.
“They did a lot more for him than we ever did.” She touched my hand and gave me another watery smile. “Look at him. He’s such a good man. Successful, a consultant.”
My father just scoffed and took another gulp out of his drink. “He’s ungrateful is what he is.”
I almost stood up then, my heart beating out of my chest, and I could feel the beads of sweat on my back. I knew what this was. I knew it was my old response to my father’s anger. Fear and the need to protect myself, my mother, and my sister from his hateful words.
He never hit, my father. He didn’t need to—he could cut us all down to shreds without lifting a finger.
He looked at me, and I could see he wanted me to lose my temper, to lunge at him so he could tell me how much like him I was. Not today.
The tension in the room was palpable. Even Blue, who until now had seemed oblivious to the tension, started fussing. She was thrashing in her chair as Sofia tried to coax her to eat some of the food on her plate. When Sofia tried to give her a bite of chicken, she kicked hard, knocking a glass of soda off the table. The sound of shattering glass was like a gunshot. For a second we all sat there in silence and then my father stood up roaring.
“We can’t even have a meal in peace in this house. I have to sit here and let my ‘children’ disrespect me and act like I’m supposed to be proud, of what?” He flung a hand in my direction. “Of this one acting like he’s better than me because he’s making a little money.” Then turned to my sister, who was picking up shards of glass while soothing Blue at the same time. I was about to go help her when he opened his mouth again, sneering. “Or should I have thrown a party for this one when she showed up at my door knocked up by a—”
I didn’t let him finish. I lunged and backed him up against the wall, a cold rage filling me. “Say it. Open your mouth and say what you were going to say about your granddaughter.”
Blue let out a wail as I stood there with my shoulder digging into my father’s chest. He gasped, short of breath, and I came back to myself. I stepped back, wiping my mouth, shaking from the adrenaline coursing through my veins. My father was looking at me and he seemed scared. Sofia just soothed Blue wide-eyed, probably shocked by my outburst. I looked around the room, my vision finally clearing, and I let out a horrified breath.
“I have to go.”
My mother just sat at the table, her hands trembling as she grabbed her glass. “That’s fine, baby. We can just have the cookies tomorrow. I’m feeling a little tired.”
My father made a sound of disgust as he walked out of the room, and when he looked back at me his eyes were menacing. “I’m going to my room; you better not be here when I get back.”
Sofia followed me out to the living room. “I’m just going to get Ma sorted out and I’ll be right behind you.”
I looked at her, shame coating my insides like sludge. “I keep leaving you here.”
She shook her head like I was talking nonsense. “Stop. You have my back always. And they’re my parents too.”