lucky bitch.
"Hi, guys, so you're The Para-not-normals. How did you four get together?" She asked them.
A dark-haired guy spoke. "We met at college and practised in our spare time. We've played a few gigs, but this is the competition we've always wanted to be in."
"Well the judges are waiting for you. Good luck." Harley smiled, and the guys sauntered onto the stage.
Seriously, I had never in my life seen such fit blokes. Every one of them was a hunk. Nearly always in a band you had at least one who looked like, as my mum would say, ‘they’d had a hard paper round’, but no. They looked in need of an image overhaul, but I'd watched this show before and knew that they liked to make entrants look worse because they all got a makeover before the live competition weeks started. I could clearly see that I was going to be licking the television screen if this lot got through. Especially the lead singer. He just had this aura about him. It seemed otherworldly, like he almost glowed out of the screen. I know, I was getting far too overexcited, but seriously, it was like he called to me. Fuck, I really did need to get a dildo because I was clearly heading for the edge. My mother needed a bingo night so she could shout 'house' while I shouted in the house. With numbers for mum and the letter 'O' for me, I could almost talk myself into believing my masturbation would be educational. Here's the current math, my current 0 was numerical, as in zero = fuck all.
"Okay." Bill Traynor, the main guy from the auditions said, dragging me back from my imagination. "So who are you guys?"
The lead singer began to speak and I was lost once more. "I'm Zak. This is Rex, Roman, and Noah. We're the Para-not-normals and we're going to sing Paradise City for you."
"Okay." Bill said, "When you're ready."
The band began to sing, but within thirty seconds, Bill put a hand up and stopped them.
"Nooooooo." I screamed, my grab packet of Doritos flying off my lap as I sprang up off the bed and to my feet. He could not stop my guys. No way!
"Do you have something else? I don't think that song is the right one for you." He said looking frustrated. "For God's sake, Bill." I ranted. "This better be a wind up."
My phone beeped and I sat back on the bed and looked at the message that had come through.
Mum: Can you keep it down? If you've that much energy maybe you could wash the dishes?
And this was why I needed to move out. I couldn't even enjoy myself watching television outside of my covers, never mind enjoy myself under them.
The band had moved onto Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift and I watched enraptured as they sang their hearts out, the guys giving backing vocals to Zak. Then Dan and Harley came back on stage, the band standing between them and Dan asked for the judges' response to the audition.
Talent scout Maxwell Johnson spoke first. "I think you have potential. It's a yes from me."
I took a slow breath out. Come on!
Then it was Marianne Moore's turn. I didn't know her, but Mum had said she had been really famous in the 1960's. "You remind me of The Rolling Stones in their early days when we used to hang around together. Great times. It's a yes from me."
Carmela Toto was up next. I didn't like her much. She'd been in a girl band, but always seemed to want the spotlight on herself. "I like you. You have a great energy. Yes, from me." She told them. And just like that I liked her again because she saved my band, although if she went anywhere near Zak, I'd make a voodoo doll of her using one of my niece's Barbies. Poppy had so many, she'd not miss one and I'd bought her most of them anyway. I could set fire to it. A Barbie-cue.
Finally, it was Bill's turn. "I like you guys. There's something about you, but I'm not sure…"
"Don't be fucking stupid, Bill." I shouted. The audience began to protest and chanted, "Yes, yes, yes." I joined in.
Bill looked back at the audience and his face contorted as he considered his verdict. "I think with a little image styling and some expert advice you could have something. One thing though. Your name. I'm not into it. I'd prefer just