her neck. “It’s like my body’s constantly trying to decide whether it’s having babies or not having babies. I won’t get my period for a few months and I figure there, that’s done, and then it comes back. Meanwhile hormones are running riot inside me, jerking me back and forth. I don’t sleep at night, I can’t think during the day. I don’t know, Jack Henry. I just don’t know anymore.”
Jack Henry had never associated what was going on in his body with the female cycle. Omega heats were calibrated to the moon, and omegas didn’t—except perhaps him—get pregnant. But as Dee detailed her symptoms, he found he could relate to too many of them. Odd physical sensitivities? Check. A constant feeling of being hot? Check. Mood swings? Check and check. His reaction to finding Jasper and Saul tangled up together had been over-the-top, and that wasn’t the only time he’d flipped out over something trivial. He was edgy, unsettled, and had a constant need to be touched that was never satisfied.
“There’s nothing doctors can do for you?” he asked.
“Not a damned thing,” Dee said, “except prescribe hormones that’ll possibly give me a heart attack, which honestly might be worth it at this point. If men had to go through menopause, there’d be a better solution, you can bet your life on it. There.” She stopped flapping and let her hands drop wearily to her sides. “At least the hot flashes are short. It’s all the rest of it I’ve had enough of. I want my body back.”
Jack Henry put a hand on his stomach, just below the spot in his chest where he could feel the bond. Would getting pregnant put an end to his symptoms? Or would it make him wish he had his body back? Since puberty, his body—meaning also his identity—had been defined by dancing. The strength of his muscles, the flexibility of his tendons and ligaments, the precise control he’d gained through rigorous work—that was what his body meant to him. Having a child might mean losing himself.
“Have you ever been pregnant?” he asked Dee.
She shook her head. “Been on the pill practically since they invented the thing. Maybe I let it regulate my hormones too long because now my body doesn’t know how to do it itself.”
Was there a pill that would work for him? If so, they could stop using condoms, which he’d grown to hate as much as he loved sex.
He finished sorting through the stack of invoices, then got out the slip of paper Elias had given him with the name and phone number of the town’s OB/GYN and placed the call he’d been putting off for more than two months.
“You want to make an appointment for your wife?” the receptionist asked.
He considered saying yes. It seemed so difficult to explain. But he wanted Dr. Morris to be prepared to deal with him, so he made an attempt at it.
“Oh my goodness,” the receptionist said. “You can have babies?”
Before he could tell her that the whole point of the appointment was to find that out, he heard her repeat the information to someone else. He was on the verge of hanging up—because fuck being office gossip—when a male voice replaced the receptionist’s.
“Sorry about that. That was unprofessional. People are excited, but that’s no excuse.”
“Are you Dr. Morris?”
“Yes, Dr. Alec Morris at your service. I’d be happy to see you. Honored, even. Let’s schedule you for Thursday, shall we?”
Jack Henry agreed to the time Dr. Morris specified and hung up with more optimism than he’d felt in a while. He would get some answers, then make a decision. Whatever the answers, whatever the decision, at least he’d be moving forward.
SAUL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a bit early for lunch, but Saul needed to stop by the hardware store, so when Rebecca said she was headed into Galvetta, Saul caught a ride with her. Usually when he came to Galvetta, he swung by the dance studio to check on Jack Henry, but today he decided to visit Elias at the library instead.
That hug he and Elias had shared the morning of the confrontation had been so healing, making him realize the two of them just plain didn’t touch enough. He’d been trying to find reasons to touch Elias ever since. Little touches in passing—the kind he exchanged instinctively with Jack Henry and Jasper but had shied away from with Elias. The more he made the effort, the more frequently Elias reciprocated, and the more Saul came