deal. Only time would tell, but I sure hoped her worries were proved to be unfounded.
As I watched the subway station begin to blur as we pulled away from the last stop before I needed to get off, I said to her, “I’m sorry I’ve been so consumed by my relationship with Oliver that we haven’t talked about your love life. Tell me about this stuck-up suit fellow.”
“I’m on the subway with him right now,” she whispered into the receiver.
I couldn’t believe she hadn’t bothered to mention this until now. “You’re with him?!? Why didn’t you say so? We can talk later.”
Her deep bellow of laughter was contagious. When it finally subsided, she whispered, “I’m not with him. He’s across the aisle, and he’s currently checking me out, but he’s trying to be sly about it.”
“Of course, he can’t keep his eyes off you,” I nodded, knowing my gorgeous friend could easily catch any hot-blooded male’s attention.
“He and I are playing a fun, little game of cat-and-mouse,” she told me.
“What color are your hair tips today?” I asked, wondering if the man in question stood a chance against my feisty friend.
“Neon green,” she revealed, and I could tell by her tone that she was smiling.
I didn’t know what bright green meant in Soraya’s book of hair color moods, but I knew one thing for sure, so I said it aloud to her. “Oh boy, he’s in trouble.”
“Indeed,” she said, before signing off.
38
Oliver
It had never dawned on me that I might actually get to be this happy––especially not with one woman. But Vi was different. She made everything better, and I couldn’t get enough of her… both in bed and out, which was a completely new phenomenon to me.
I enjoyed talking to her and asking her opinions. I needed to know what she thought about everything. Nothing felt real until I told Vi about it. I wanted her by my side any time we could make it work with our schedules.
And the sex… It was explosive and addictive, like nothing I’d ever experienced before. I couldn’t imagine ever tiring of being with her. Each time was different, more intense, and hotter than the last. Just when I’d think we couldn’t possibly get any better at it, she would blow my mind in some unexpected, marvelous, and breath-hitching way.
Our relationship was built on a fragile house of cards that could crumble at any moment, though, and it frightened me to my core. The tiny Jiminy Cricket that was perpetually perched on my shoulder told me to admit the full truth to her right away and beg for her understanding and forgiveness. On the other hand, there was a warring faction inside my head that insisted I keep my secret and grasp ahold of the marvelous status quo with Vi for as long as I possibly could.
It felt like I was damned if I did reveal the truth to her and damned if I didn’t because both courses of action held the risk of her leaving and never forgiving me. I couldn’t handle that, so I held my tongue and tried to make her love me so much that she wouldn’t ever be able to let me go––even though I was holding back a dark secret.
I almost told her last night. We were naked and entangled together after a particularly raucous round in her bed. Her skin glistened with the afterglow of our lovemaking.
“You’re impossibly beautiful,” I told her sincerely as I trailed my fingertips down her spine creating a shiver of pleasure in their wake.
“You’re impossibly sweet,” she answered, pressing her lips to my chest, near my scar.
I opened my mouth to say it, but the words clogged in my throat. Fear iced my veins as I pictured her getting angry with me, kicking me out of her life, and screaming that she never wanted to see me again.
Jiminy tried to convince me that she would eventually forgive me, and we would move on as an even stronger couple with the truth out in the open. But the tiny, red devil on my other shoulder insisted that we might not ever be able to recover from the bombshell news. I didn’t know how I would survive it if she couldn’t find it in her heart to forgive me.
As if she sensed something was amiss, Vi murmured, “It doesn’t feel right for me to be this happy. I know it can’t possibly last, so I want to hold on to these moments with