because if I ever got a date with a woman that fine, I’d be there with bells on.” Grim turned and flashed me a grin, and then he hit the button to turn the siren on. “Let’s hustle.”
Eleven
Mina
Here I was again, standing in the supply room at Morgan Financial, holding a clipboard, staring at reams of paper. I thought we were a paperless society. How much paper could one company go through?
I checked off the latest shipment, then walked back to my desk. I woke up my computer and sat down to enter the stock numbers, looking around for Hellspawn first. I’d seen her toothpick frame turn the corner toward the ladies’ room a few minutes ago, so I figured I had a little peace and quiet.
I was entering the last number in the spreadsheet—oh my God, I was doing spreadsheets, my life was officially over—when a voice behind my shoulder said sharply, “Are you finished with that yet?”
I jumped, my chair squeaking and rolling backward. I wobbled to regain my balance as I spun around. Helen was standing right behind my shoulder, where she’d somehow creeped in perfect silence like a ghost out of my worst nightmare. “What?” I said, too loud because I was so surprised.
Her lips pursed. “There’s no need to yell, Mina. I was just asking a question.”
“Okay. I was just kind of shocked, that’s all.”
“Yelling creates a toxic workplace,” Helen said, her lips still pursed. She stood and waited in silence.
It took a second for me to realize she was waiting for me to say something. Something specific. Then I realized what it was. “I’m sorry, Helen,” I managed.
“For what?”
I had to grit the words out, they were so hard to say. “For raising my voice.”
“For yelling,” she corrected me. “It was a simple question, that’s all.”
This was never going to end, was it? I had done something really wrong, then died and gone to hell. That was the only explanation. Rent, Mina. You need to pay it. Every single month. “I’m sorry for yelling,” I said.
“Okay then. Are you finished with that spreadsheet?”
I glanced at my computer screen, completely oblivious to what I’d just been doing. “Yes, I am.”
“Then please send it to me, because I have to include it in my Semi-Weekly Report.”
“I thought it was the Bi-Weekly Report.”
Helen’s eyes widened, and she actually looked shocked. “The Semi-Weekly Report is different from the Bi-Weekly Report,” she said, as if talking to a toddler. “Both of them are part of my job, which is why I’m so busy all the time. I just finished the Bi-Weekly Report, and then I have to compile the Semi-Weekly Report. It’s very complicated work.”
I stared at her. Complicated work? “You mean, you report several times per week about office supplies?”
“That’s only part of what I do.” She was on a roll now. “I do a lot of important and complicated things in my job, and the fact that you don’t understand that shows me that you have no interest in being promoted in this company. Anyone who wanted to be promoted would take the time to learn about the different reports.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I liked money, everyone does, but part of me suspected that there was no money in the world that could entice me to try and get promoted in the world of office supplies. I’d rather play a train in Starlight Express, even though I couldn’t skate.
Still, yet again Helen seemed to be waiting for me to say something—it was a favorite trick of hers—so I said, “I’m sure you’re really good at your job?”
I didn’t mean for it to come out as a question. It just happened that way. In any case, Helen didn’t notice. She only noticed the compliment. “I am,” she said. “When you’re done sending me that report, please bring some toner to Eliza.”
“Who’s Eliza?”
Helen’s eyes widened again, as if she couldn’t get over me. “Mr. Morgan’s assistant,” she said, again as if I was aged two. “His latest one, since the other one quit. She needs toner.”
“PS-3389067,” I said, remembering the toner I had almost gotten wrong last time.
“What?”
“Nothing. I’m on it.” I swiveled in my chair, called up my email program, and emailed the spreadsheet to Helen. She stayed behind my shoulder, watching me as I did it, because she was just creepy like that.
I finished and stood up. Now we were both in my cubicle, which was awkward, especially since I had tits and