guess I should have said something, but she didn’t want me to.”
Jill glanced around Peter’s bulk to where Amy had rolled on her side again. And she wished suddenly that her wristwatch wasn’t buried at the bottom of her overnight bag. It would be helpful if she could time the contractions, and she would need a watch for that, because after ten days on the river, she didn’t trust her sense of time in the least.
“It’s not a stomachache,” she told him.
“What is it?”
“She’s in labor.”
She waited, then, for it to sink in. And this frat boy, whom she expected would back away nervously, folded his arms across his chest and nodded gravely, as though he had expected nothing less bizarre.
She had to hand it to him.
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve gone through this twice. I’m sure.”
“I knew it wasn’t just a stomachache,” he said. “But I didn’t think it was labor. Did you tell JT yet?”
They both looked over to where JT was listening to Mitchell, who was speaking and gesturing with agitation.
“No,” said Jill. “But I will in just a minute. I thought maybe you could explain to Amy what’s going on.”
“She doesn’t know?”
“If she knew, she wouldn’t be so terrified,” said Jill. Then she reconsidered. “Fine, she’d be terrified, but she wouldn’t—She’s clueless, Peter. Trust me. She has no idea.”
Peter looked dumbfounded. “How can this happen? Don’t girls miss their periods? Don’t they notice they’re getting kind of big?”
“It’s definitely bizarre, but it happens,” said Jill. “When a girl’s seventeen, she might not be keeping track of her cycle. And when you’re as big as Amy, well, sometimes you just don’t notice things. There was a girl in my high school twenty years ago. She was like Amy—really, really big. And she didn’t know. Honest to god she didn’t know. And then one day she went to the bathroom in between math and science and—”
“Okay,” said Peter. “I get it.”
“So it can happen,” Jill finished.
“How close is she? To, you know, actually having the baby?”
“I don’t know,” said Jill. “I don’t think she’s that close, but she might be. I don’t know.”
“So what do we do now?”
“JT’s going to have to radio for help. Because we have to get her to a hospital. And in the meantime, we’re going to keep her very very still and try and slow down the contractions. But I want you to tell her what’s going on. She likes you.”
Peter scratched the back of his neck. “Of all the gin joints in all the world,” he murmured. “Fine. I’ll tell her.”
“Just think of how it’s going to be for Susan,” said Jill, by way of consolation.
Peter went back to where Amy lay propped up on her elbows again. Her legs were extended out in front of her, dimpled and thick, and he tried to look at her like nothing was different but found it impossible. He wished he had said something directly to JT about her stomachaches, but he also realized there was no good to come of him scolding himself, so whenever that thought came into his mind, he pinched a little fold of skin on the back of his hand. Hard. It was a trick he’d learned from his shrink when he was trying to get over Miss Ohio. The shrink told him to pinch himself whenever he thought of her, and it would decondition him.
“The whale surfaces,” Amy said, feigning drama as she tried to sit up.
“How do you feel?”
“Crappy.”
Peter looked upriver to Lava Falls. It seemed small and far away and unimportant. This was going to be hard, and he could think of no better way than to just say it.
“Jill thinks you’re having a baby,” he said.
Amy looked off, like she was remembering something that amused her.
“I’m sorry,” she finally said—and her voice was cheery—“but I thought you said that Jill thinks I’m, like, having a baby. What did you really say?”
“That’s what I really said.” He waited. “Are you?”
“Uh, no?”
“She thinks you’re in labor,” Peter went on.
“How could I be in labor if I’m not pregnant?”
“Are you not pregnant?”
“No,” said Amy. “Yes. I’m not pregnant. Look at me. Do I look pregnant? Oh god. Don’t answer that. Of course I look pregnant. I always look pregnant. Well, I’m not pregnant,” she said, emphasizing the first syllable, as though it would sink both the word, and its truth, into the river.
Peter wished Jill hadn’t chosen him to be the messenger. This should be JT’s job. JT was their leader,