them, “and we’ve got two hundred and twenty-five miles between here and the takeout at Diamond Creek. Some days we’ll go ten miles, some days thirty; it’ll all depend on the day. The only thing I ask is that you be flexible. Plans change, depending on a lot of things.”
“I hope we’re going to stop at Havasu,” said the man from Wyoming. “Mitchell Boyer-Brandt,” he added, extending his hand.
“Is Havasu the place with the turquoise water?” the mother asked.
“And vines and ferns and waterfalls,” Mitchell said. “I’ve been waiting to go there since I was ten years old.”
JT did not want to get sidetracked. “Havasu’s beautiful,” he agreed, “although with fifty people on the trail, it can lose a bit of its charm. But I’ll do my best to stop there.” Carefully he folded up the map. “Now: I see you all have a life jacket. Number one safety rule is you have to wear it all the time when you’re on the river. No exceptions. When you get off the boat, clip it to something on the boat or a bush, whatever, so it doesn’t blow away. Know what we call a passenger without a life jacket?”
There were nervous chuckles all around.
“A hiker,” JT said with another grin. “Rule number two: Know where we keep the first aid box and take care of any nicks and scrapes. Wash them well. Put on some ointment. Use a Band-Aid. One little cut can quickly get infected, which definitely can ruin a trip.”
“Are there rapids today?” one of the boys asked.
JT looked at the boy, who was squinting up at him. Then he looked at the boys brother. Both light-haired, freshly buzzed. JT wondered if he would be able to tell them apart.
“What’s your name?”
“Sam!”
“Put it here, Sam,” said JT, and they slapped palms. “There are most definitely rapids today, and I want to give a little demonstration so everyone knows what to do in case you end up in the water.”
“I sure hope that doesn’t happen!” exclaimed the young man from Cincinnati. “Seeing as I can’t swim.”
“Well, it probably won’t,” said JT. “But in case it does, here’s the routine. You might find yourself underwater for a few seconds, but I guarantee your life jacket will bring you back up. Once you’re up, look around. Chances are you’ll find yourself right beside the boat because the water’s taking you down at the same speed. So grab on. Pull yourself up.”
“What if you don’t come up?” asked Sam.
“You’ll come up,” JT assured him.
“But what if you get sucked into a whirlpool?”
“I’ll come get you myself, kiddo,” he said. “Now, if for some reason you’re not right beside the boat, you may have to swim on through the rest of the rapid. And then what you do is, it’s very simple, see, you put your feet out in front,” and he elevated one foot out in front of him and hopped a little for balance, “and kind of sit back, like this,” and he leaned back from the hips with his arms out to the sides, “and just float on through the rest of the rapid, and we’ll pick you up down below. Very simple. Pay attention. If somebody’s waving at you to swim to the left, swim to the left.”
“What if you’re in a coma, though?” asked Sam.
“Oh, Sam,” his mother sighed.
“But if you’re in a coma, you can’t do very much.”
“Don’t be a dickhead,” said his brother.
“If you’re in a coma, I’ll take good care of you,” JT assured Sam. “All of us guides, we’re very good at taking care of people who are really hurt. But that’s not going to happen. If you fall out of the boat, you’re going to be just fine.”
“But this raises the question,” said Mitchell. “What happens if someone does get hurt?”
“We’ve got a satellite phone,” said JT. “Usually they can get us a helicopter within an hour.”
“And where’s the nearest emergency room?” the mother asked.
“Flagstaff.”
“Are there rattlesnakes down here?” asked Matthew, the brother.
“Yup. Don’t bother them and they won’t bother you.”
“Scorpions?”
“Yup. Shake your clothes out in the morning.”
“How about West Nile?” asked the boys’ father.
“Nope.”
“Lyme disease?”
“Nope.”
“Hantavirus?”
JT held up his hands. “Whoa. Let’s be positive, folks. You’re probably more likely to get in a car accident on the way to the grocery store than get bitten by a snake.”
“How hot does it get down here?” This came from a woman who looked to be in her early fifties, with a bowl-shaped haircut and no neck