the answer. Vendans had cut a whole company of men to pieces, my own brother among them, a massacre, and the Komizar had praised them for it. You did well, Chievdar. What was one more emissary to him? All I could do was make sure he didn’t perceive him as something valuable to take from me.
I turned toward the wall, unable to sleep, listening to Kaden’s breathing and his restless turning. I wondered about his regret at the choices he had made and all the throats he hadn’t held back from slitting. How much easier his life would be now if he had slit mine as he was ordered to do. The wind picked up, whistling through crevices, and I nestled deeper under the blankets, wondering about my own regrets to come, for the things I was yet to do.
The room closed in, dark and black and far from everything I had ever known. I felt like a child again, wishing I could curl into my mother’s arms on a stormy night and she could whisper away my fears. The wind punched and thrashed against the shutters, unforgiving, and I felt something wet trickle down the side of my face. I reached up and swiped the salty wetness away.
How quaint.
How very quaint.
Like believing some things last forever.
A tear.
As if that could make a difference.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
KADEN
Enjoy your pet for now.
Every aspect of the words ate at me.
Enjoy.
Seeing Lia’s fear made it impossible to enjoy anything. Seeing her paraded through the hall in a sack made me sick in a way I hadn’t been since I was a child. Why hadn’t I thought it out? Was I as thick as Malich? Of course, the Komizar couldn’t treat her as an honored guest. I hadn’t expected that, but seeing her grasping at fabric to cover herself—
I slammed a cupboard shut and rummaged through another in the larder under the scrutinizing eye of the cook. She didn’t approve of me raiding her kitchen.
“Here!” she snapped, slapping away my hand when I reached for a wheel of cheese. “I’ll do it!” She grabbed a knife to cut off a chunk for me. I watched her move about the kitchen, gathering more food.
Your pet.
I knew how the Komizar perceived royals. I couldn’t blame him. It was how I had perceived them too, but she wasn’t selfish fluff wearing a crown. When she had defied all of us and killed Eben’s horse, that wasn’t fluff.
For now.
Temporary. Fleeting. Provisional. But bringing Lia to Venda was a forever move for me. An ending—and a beginning. Or maybe it was a return to some part of me I didn’t want to die. Don’t do it. The words had beat through me back in Terravin as I had watched her walk alone through the woods. They had tapped in my skull again as I had sat in the barn loft, drawing my knife across my whetstone.
I had never defied an order before, but I hadn’t disregarded his command just because I fell for the charms of a girl. Lia was hardly charming. At least not in the usual way. There was something else that drew me to her. I’d thought just getting her here would be enough, and that once she was here, there’d be no reason to kill her. She’d be safe. She could be forgotten, and the Komizar could move on to his other plans. I’ll decide the best way to use her. But now she could become part of those plans.
Lia’s words on the battlefield had echoed through my head since the day she said them—for evermore—and for the first time, I was starting to understand how long that was. I was only nineteen, and it seemed I had lived two lifetimes already. Now I was beginning a third. A life where I had to learn new rules. Living in Venda and keeping Lia alive. If I had just done my job as I always had before, I wouldn’t have to worry about any of this. Lia would be another forgotten notch on my belt. But now she was something else. Something that didn’t fit into any of the rules of Venda.
She asks for another story, one to pass the time and fill her.
I search for the truth, the details of a world so long past now, I’m not sure it ever was.
Once upon a time, so very long ago,
In an age before monsters and demons roamed the earth,
A time when children ran free in meadows,
And heavy fruit