pity me, Becca.”
His voice came out low, rough, and angry. Goosebumps broke out over her skin. Ignoring her reaction to him, she hurried to reassure him. “It’s not pity, D. I promise. I guess I’m sad because you’re sad. Comes with the title of best friend.”
His lips tilted in that half smile she loved. It made his dimple stand out.
“I love you, Becca. You know that?”
She laughed. “Yeah, I know, but you have to. No one else would put up with your shit.”
“I don’t think I like this new foul mouth of yours. Or maybe I do. It’s hot.”
She laughed, knowing he didn’t mean anything by it. He would never see her like he did one of his bimbos.
“Drink your coffee before it gets cold. I still don’t see why this requires me going with you. You’ll be sitting most of the time, and you can have the hotel staff cart your books to and from the room.”
“No, you’re the only person I trust with this. I don’t want it getting out on social media, and if I have to have help, people are going to start asking questions.”
“And me helping you won’t make them ask questions?”
“No. You’re my PA. No one would think twice about you helping me.”
He’d gotten obstinate and mulish again. And then it dawned on her in a flash of clarity. He was afraid. But of what?
“Dimitri.” She set her cup down and leaned forward. “I don’t understand why you need me specifically. Any woman would be glad to help you.”
“Yes, but any woman might go and run her mouth about my condition.”
“Make me understand why you are terrified of your secret getting out. It’s not something you did to yourself, nothing to be embarrassed about, and certainly nothing to be ashamed of. What’s the big deal?”
He let out a frustrated sigh and put his own mug down. It never ceased to amaze her how a man who could sometimes churn out a book a month struggled to find ways to express his own feelings.
“How would it look, Becca, if readers found out? I’m supposed to personify the men in my books. People read my books because of what I look like. If they see me as anything less than whole…” He stopped speaking, his head drooping.
“I call bullshit.” She felt heat rush up to her cheeks, but in anger this time. “People read your books not because of what you look like, but because of the story. So what if you can’t walk so well? No one is going to care.”
“But I care.” His words were so low she almost missed them.
“Dimitri, you have a pretty face and a body to drool over, but again, so what? Men like that are a dime a dozen. What you do with words? That’s special. Your words touch people’s hearts. That’s why they buy your books, not because you’re man candy.”
She could see he didn’t believe her. The man had serious self-esteem issues. How had she missed this? All these years, and she’d never seen it, but it was staring her in the face. He honestly believed what he wrote didn’t matter. He really thought it was all about his face.
His nostrils flared. “Becca, I can’t make you understand, but I’m terrified to go and that people will find out. Please come with me. You’re the only person I trust to do this for me. Please.”
Well, hell. He was giving her the puppy dog eyes. She felt like a shit saying no, but it was too much. She hadn’t been outside this apartment in two years.
“I can’t.”
Becca squirmed under Dimitri’s probing stare, but she didn’t back down.
He wanted to shake her. He’d bared his soul to her, told her his deepest, darkest fear. That he wasn’t good enough, that it was only about what he looked like, the kind of man he personified. And she still said no.
“We’re friends, aren’t we? Best friends?”
She nodded, eyes downcast so she didn’t have to look at him. Oh, hell no. “Eyes up, Rebecca. You give me your eyes when you spew your own bullshit.”
He expected every emotion from spitting mad to regret, but not all-out fear. Her pupils were dilated, panicked. When she jumped up and staggered back, he stood himself. What was wrong?
She shook her head, eyes going wilder every second. Her breathing picked up, and she backed away from him slowly.
“Don’t ask me that, Dimitri. I can’t…I just…I can’t. Please.”
She turned and ran down the hall. He was left