especially as they did say they’d try and get up later in the week. She’d learned long ago to not have high hopes of what her parents were able to do for her and now for Bryson. Low expectations meant less disappointment.
Still, it did leave her feeling very alone. But that feeling was an old friend. She’d felt alone in her family’s crowded home, and she’d felt alone in a compound full of people. The only times she hadn’t felt alone had been when she’d had Bryson to focus on, or during the times they spent with Nana and Ryker.
The fact of the matter was, it had been her own choices that had led to her being alone. She could have rekindled former friendships upon returning to New Hope, but she’d chosen not to. Now she was reaping the consequences of that decision—perhaps yet another bad one.
In the meantime, she’d try not to wear out those who were still in her life with requests for help.
Once she’d calmed herself to the point where she would hopefully not cry again, she called Nana.
“How is Bryson, darling?” Nana asked as soon as she answered the phone.
“He’s doing a bit better each day, it seems.”
“I’ve been talking to the nurses here, and I think perhaps you didn’t tell me how sick he really was.”
Sophia looked at the bed where Bryson was sleeping yet again. “I didn’t want to worry you too much.”
“It’s my job to worry,” Nana insisted. “You need to tell me everything.”
“But there’s nothing you can do.”
“You’re wrong, Sophia Marie,” she said, an edge of reproof in her voice. “I can pray.”
“Are you telling me you haven’t been praying?” Sophia asked. “Aren’t you the one who always said that God knows the details we might not?”
“Don’t throw my words back at me, young lady,” Nana said.
Sophia found herself smiling for just a moment. “I really just didn’t want you to worry.”
“I know, and I love you for that. I wish I could be there to see you both. I miss you.”
“How about we do a video chat tomorrow when Bryson’s awake?” she suggested, hoping that Bryson would be a bit perkier, because if he wasn’t, Nana was going to be even more worried.
“I’d like that very much.”
Before they ended the call, Nana prayed for them. It wasn’t the first time Nana had prayed with her, and Sophia knew it wouldn’t be the last. The thought of Nana’s prayer support gave her a sense of comfort, and she felt a little less alone when she hung up.
She sat at the table, staring out the window at the neighborhood around the hospital. Though she’d grown up not far from Seattle, she’d rarely traveled to the city. It was just after her twenty-first birthday that she’d come there with some of her friends. Since they were all officially legal, they’d decided to head to a bar in Seattle to celebrate.
It was there that she’d met Ezekiel for the first time. She still wasn’t sure why he’d been there, or what he’d seen in her that had made him approach her.
Though Sophia wanted to say that their meeting had been the worst thing that had ever happened to her, she really couldn’t. Ezekiel had given her Bryson, and for that reason alone, she couldn’t regret everything that had happened because of their meeting. What she wanted more than anything was for her and Bryson to be able to forget everything from that time with Ezekiel. Too bad that wasn’t possible.
As she sat there, her stomach cramped, reminding Sophia that she hadn’t eaten anything for supper. But she hated the idea of leaving Bryson for more than just a few minutes to go to the bathroom, let alone going to find food. She’d even waited until Ryker had come to use the showers that were made available for parents who were staying at the hospital with their children.
It wasn’t going to be easy without Ryker around for the next couple of days, but she was quite sure that she wasn’t the first single parent to have a child in the PICU. She needed to just buck up and do what she needed to for Bryson. And if that meant she missed a couple of meals or had to go for longer than a day without a shower, she’d survive.
Leaning over, she dragged the duffle bag out from under the table. She found her journal and pulled it out. She’d hesitated to ask Lani to put it