to children. Yes, he wanted to pass on his genes, but he also didn’t want the compound to be overrun with kids. More mouths to feed and all that. What he wanted most when it came to offspring were sons. If you gave him a son the first time around, he was happy with that. If you gave him a daughter, he’d want to keep trying for a son.
“And after you gave him a son, he might pass you off to one of his favored soldiers—as he liked to call them—if he was feeling generous. It was his way of making sure there was some fresh blood in the next generation. Mellie, however, had two children who she claimed were both Ezekiel’s, though most of us assumed her daughter was actually someone else’s.”
“So it was good that you had a son first?”
“Yes.” Sophia recalled her relief when the woman attending Bryson’s birth had said he was a boy. By then, she’d become aware of what that meant. Why Ezekiel hadn’t passed her on to another man, she didn’t know, but it was yet another thing she’d been grateful for in the midst of so much pain and suffering.
After she’d returned to New Hope, Nana had told her how she’d prayed constantly for God’s hand of protection to be on Sophia. As she’d thought back over times at the compound when there had been potential trauma or unpleasant situations for her, Sophia had wondered if some of them had been diverted from her because of Nana’s prayers.
There was really no other explanation for why she’d been spared the worst of what had been possible in the compound.
“Thank you for sharing your story with me,” Ryker said after she’d lapsed into silence, her thoughts mired in the past.
“Thank you for sharing your story with me.”
Ryker’s brow furrowed. “I know I talked about us exchanging stories, but I hope you didn’t feel obliged to tell me about your past simply because I’d shared about mine.”
“It wasn’t that,” Sophia said. “It’s just that you’re so involved in our lives, it felt…right to tell you about what happened.”
“I’m glad you told me.” Ryker leaned forward, his gaze intent. “I want you to always feel like you can trust me, Sophia.”
As she looked into his light blue eyes, Sophia knew that she would take him at his word. After all she’d experienced at the hands of a man who knew how to use his words to entice, one would think she’d know better. But she desperately wanted to trust Ryker, especially after he’d been so good to her and Bryson.
“I know that you have no reason to trust me,” he said, seeming to read her thoughts. “And I understand that. All I want you to know at this point is that you are important to me. You and Bryson both. I care about you, and if you let me, I’d like to be a part of your life in whatever form you’re willing to have me.”
Sophia’s heart skipped a few beats at his words, making it difficult to take a breath. Was it even possible that a man like Ryker could want her and Bryson in the way she’d always longed for a man to want her in his life?
“I’d never…” Sophia swallowed, hoping she wasn’t misinterpreting his words. “I’d never turn you away. You’re important to Bryson and me as well.”
A smile spread across Ryker’s face, lighting up his eyes. Sophia wasn’t sure how to take his expression because it seemed like her response had truly made him happy. Maybe even more than just happy. Was that even possible? That even with all her issues, the idea of having her in his life made him happy?
“I can see that you don’t really understand how I’m feeling,” Ryker said, his smile turning gentle. “And that’s fine. I’ll happily take the time to show you until you do understand.”
After enduring so much darkness over the past several years, was it possible that things were turning around? But more importantly, could she trust herself to make a good decision where Ryker was concerned?
It wasn’t that she needed time to heal from a previous relationship—her feelings for Ezekiel had died years ago—but she carried a lot of baggage. Most of it tied to how much she’d failed Bryson over the years. Normally she’d be wary of allowing a man to get too close to him, but Ryker had blown past those concerns already with Bryson’s help.
She wasn’t even entirely