even though he knows they’re all right, his undying love for the woman he first met at a party in college that time he was so drunk he threw up on his best friend’s shoes and she wouldn’t have anything to do with him for months but he knew she was the one so he didn’t give up.…
If you take the time to look beneath the labels and generalizations, you will always find a person who is more like you than not. (When Sam sat down and talked to Jules—really talked to him—he realized they were more alike than different.)
This is why, to me, things like skin color and background and age differences aren’t that big of a deal in terms of a romantic relationship, and why diverse characters aren’t hard to write.
Q: Let’s talk a little more about that—about looking beneath the labels and generalizations—as well as the facades that people create to hide behind. This seems to be a theme that runs throughout your books.
SUZ: That’s absolutely right. One of the themes that I frequently tackle in my books is about how we deal with perception and facades. We present ourselves to the world in a certain way, and people identify us, judge us, and label us. This happens all the time in our society. It’s easy, it’s quick, and it requires little effort.
My goal with my books is always to grow tolerance and acceptance. To encourage people to look beyond the things that they expect to see, to try to see individuals instead of stereotypes.
Sam Starrett, for example, starts out as an alpha male who has some preconceived notions about other people—particularly about Jules Cassidy, who is gay. Sam is a little homophobic and Jules freaks him out. He doesn’t see Jules-the-individual, he sees one of those creepy-to-him gay guys.
But at the same time, Alyssa Locke is doing the very same thing to Sam. She sees a white guy from Texas, with his cowboy boots and Texas drawl—a good ol’ boy, or a “cracker,” if you will. She jumps to some conclusions about him. Redneck. Small-minded, racist … When, in truth, he’s nothing of the sort.
Throughout Sam’s journey in these books, he comes to know Jules. He works with Jules and learns that Jules is worthy of his respect and admiration. He gets to know Jules as an individual, and the two men become friends. Real friends. At the end of the story arc, Sam is no longer homophobic. His ignorance about what being gay means is replaced with understanding—and acceptance and friendship.
Likewise, Alyssa’s assumptions are changed as, through her story arc, she discovers who Sam truly is.
Q: But at the same time, Sam has to stop hiding. He has to reveal himself to Alyssa.
SUZ: Yes, he does. You know, I think the ultimate human story is that of finding a true connection with another person—finding real, honest love. The thing about that is, in order to find such a real connection, you’ve got to be willing to reveal yourself completely, which takes true courage.
One of my favorite scenes in a movie is in Bridget Jones’s Diary, where the Colin Firth character says to Bridget, “I like you very much. Just as you are.” What an incredible moment!
We come from a society that infuses us with dissatisfaction and fear. Not only are we taught to believe that we’re not good enough, but we’re taught that we better pretend to be something better or we will be made fun of, or worse—ignored.
We also, as a society, are quick to label. Like I said earlier, we feel more comfortable putting people into categories—defining people in easy-to-understand ways. She’s a lawyer. He’s a science teacher. She’s Jewish. He’s Latino. She’s the mother of three. He’s a grandfather.
But the labels we give also judge. He’s an ex-con—he’s dangerous. She’s well-endowed—she’s a slut. She’s blond—she’s a ditz … etc., etc.
Of course, not all labels and judgments are negative. He’s a Harvard grad—he’s a good job candidate. She’s a nun—she’s kind and forgiving. But just like negative assumptions, these positive judgments may or may not be true!
Everyone who lives and breathes and walks the earth—and I’ll include my characters in with that group, since I try my best to breathe life into them—has to deal with the labels that others in our society have put on them. They also have to deal with the labels that they put onto other people. Plus they have to try to see the truth behind the labels