scared by the speed of the little nerd’s fingers.
“Let’s put that on the backburner,” Chaos suggested.
I looked at him, partly in awe and partly in disgust. “How did you not lose your shit?” I asked him.
He sighed heavily. “I’m really good at internalising.”
Rollie nodded. “He is.”
Well, no one could disagree with that.
Chaos gave a rough chuckle. “Plus, Amber didn’t need me to beat the shit out of the wanker. She needed me there, with her. She needed comfort and understanding, not revenge.”
I didn’t like it. It left a sour taste in my mouth.
Not Chaos’ reaction. Not really. That made sense, and I had to concede that he’d done the right thing in the situation. That I was glad of. That I liked.
It was the fact that Bert had been hurt at all. It was the fact I’d not known. It was the fact that, even knowing my best mate had done right by my little sister when it mattered, no one had beaten the fucker up.
And I really felt like fists needed to make contact with faces.
Chaos scrubbed his hand through his hair. “You good?”
I took another deep breath, worried about what might have popped out of my mouth if I hadn’t taken a second. “I’m pissed.”
Rollie nodded. “Fair.”
I would have asked Chaos how he was staying so calm, but I could tell he was anything but calm. They all were, to varying degrees. The others didn’t have the same visceral reaction that Chaos and I had about Bert, but they still cared. It was enough to give a man a lump in his throat.
“I – uh – guess I should talk to her, huh?” I said.
“If you want,” Chaos said.
I nodded, more to myself than anything else. “Right. Uh…well, I’ve got some work to be getting back to.” I pointed over my shoulder before heading out.
No one said anything. They didn’t need to. Like my relationship with Chaos, the team didn’t need words to tell each other how we were feeling. When we were pissed off or annoyed, we liked using them to show our displeasure, sure. When, like now, we were getting a little more…let’s stick with vulnerable…then we chose to use as few as possible. None if we could manage it.
Even knowing I had my closest friends if I needed them, I still felt utterly shitty by the end of the day. I felt even shittier because most of my shittiness was selfishly about how I’d failed Bert.
So, I surprised myself when I discovered I’d pulled up in front of Leah’s place instead of mine, despite having no plans to see her that night and all the plans to drink all the beer and eat all the ice cream I currently had stoked.
Just as I was deciding not to bother her, the front door opened and she met me with a smile and a wave before she came down the front path towards me.
She was in her PJs and ugg boots, her dressing gown undone but wrapped around her, and her hair pulled up haphazardly the way she did to just get it out of the way. It – she – was the single best thing I’d ever seen.
I rolled down the window as she jogged across the road to me.
“I wasn’t expecting you, was I?” she asked as she leant in for a hello kiss.
“You weren’t. Is that okay?”
She smiled happily and looked like she was about to nod, then she looked at me more closely. “Something happen?” she asked and my chest constricted at the concern in her tone.
“You could say that.” I was aiming for casual nonchalance, but I wasn’t sure how well I pulled it off.
She nodded. “Then it’s definitely more than okay,” she said as she leant in, hit the door lock, then pulled the door open. “I was going to say it was okay anyway. Of course. But… I’m always here for you, Patrick.” She coaxed me out of the car and wrapped her arms around my neck in a tight hug.
I told myself I wasn’t going to cry.
“Thanks.”
She pulled away and took my hand. “How does pizza and beer sound?”
I shut the car door as she started leading me away. “Honestly? Perfect.”
Leah gave me a smile over her shoulder as I followed up the front path.
Just that and I was feeling a little bit better about everything.
She got me inside and we dropped onto her couch. She held her arms open.
“Come on then,” she said. “Come here.”
I nestled against her