Have Mercy - Christina Lee Page 0,88

them. But he’d had his fair share of girlfriends over the years, just hadn’t found the one yet. Maybe now he would. Or at least be less of a jackass.

When he burst out laughing, something in my chest loosened, and I couldn’t help smiling in return. That hadn’t happened in a long time between us, and damn, it felt good. Like when we were kids and we forgot to be mad at each other for one thing or another.

“Bet Dad’ll say he’s so proud his boys worked the herd again together,” he said with exaggerated air quotes.

“Probably.” I could almost hear the nostalgia in our father’s voice. “Mom too.”

“She’s been trying to work on him, you know,” he said in a soft voice. “Travis too.”

Fuck. Don’t you dare get all misty-eyed. I blinked away the emotion because I did not want to break down in front of my brother. Not right then.

“It’s time for me to get my shit together too,” he said, squaring his shoulders. “I’m embarrassed about the way I acted toward Julian that day…”

“You said your piece with him at the fair.” I motioned with my hand. “Might be time to do the same with Dad.”

He looked a bit frayed around the edges, something I understood all too well.

“And you’re right, I’m not tryin’ to hurt anyone. I was just tryin’ to live an honest life.”

“And are you?” he asked. “Living an honest life?”

I briefly squeezed my eyes shut. “Mostly.”

“You and Julian became close, though, yeah?”

I looked over at him, making sure he wasn’t trying to bait me into admitting something, because I swore to God, my fist would meet his lip. But he looked genuinely curious. Genuinely contrite as well.

“Felt like someone was finally in my corner.” That familiar ache in my chest intensified. “So I tried to be there for him too.”

“I can see that now.” He grew quiet for a long moment, then thumped my knee with his fist. “Sorry I haven’t been there for you.”

I cleared my tight throat. “’S’kay. You’re tryin’ now.”

29

Julian

“You haven’t opened that?” Caitlin pointed at the wrapped gift still sitting on my dresser as she got comfy on my bed.

We’d just returned from getting fitted for my tux, and I was able to get a glimpse of her wedding dress too. It was simple but elegant and perfect for a beach wedding in the Hamptons.

“No, I was…waiting, I guess,” I muttered, looking away guiltily.

Coming home had been a bit of a rude awakening, and not only from being immersed in a crowd straight off the plane and assaulted by all the loud noises on the ride through Midtown to Mom’s apartment. Also because none of that familiarity did anything to dissuade the emptiness I felt deep in my gut.

I couldn’t deny I was missing Wyoming. Had you told me I’d ever say those words in my life, I’d have accused you of lying.

Christ, Mom was going to have a field day with that one.

She was concerned that I seemed restless and preoccupied, but had thankfully chalked it up to an adjustment period. I wasn’t ready to divulge anything regarding Kerry Carmichael or my feelings where he was concerned, so it was just as well.

Luckily, I hadn’t had any episodes, except that morning, hearing the first blaring horn as I stepped off the curb outside the bagel shop. It passed quickly as I focused on gripping the bag I was holding and the taxi driver shouting at me to get the hell out of the way.

Damn, how had I lived here all my life? I’d take bleating goats and clucking chickens any day of the week. Maybe Wyoming had been the push I needed to find a quiet place all my own.

So why did the thought make me feel even more unsettled?

“Waiting for what?” Caitlin eyed the package, bringing it front and center again. “Open it already.”

“What’s going on?” Mom asked, stepping just inside the doorway. We had stayed up late that first night as I caught her up on everything regarding Cottonwood Creek and Firefly Farm. I could feel her scrutiny as I tiptoed around certain subjects, and I wondered if she noticed the change in me. Because I did feel different. Jesus, I likely sounded like one of those Hallmark movies Caitlin and Mom liked to watch during the holiday season. City boy goes to the country and is not only enchanted by the locals, but also the brooding, rugged cowboy.

“Julian’s finally going to open his gift,” Caitlin