Have Mercy - Christina Lee Page 0,87
bracing on each end,” I said, pointing to the damaged areas.
“Was thinking the same thing. Brought some two-by-fours.”
“Cool.” I reached for the hammer and nails while he unloaded the wood, and then we set to work together, reinforcing the fence. This time it would probably hold through a couple of hard winters.
When we finished the task, I sank to the grass and swiped at my sweaty brow with my forearm. Instead of hopping on his vehicle and hightailing it back to the ranch, Hunter took a load off beside me. He seemed contemplative, like he had been that day at the fair, and I again wondered if he was going through something. I wanted to ask, but I also didn’t want to be disappointed if he shut me down.
“What, no thanks?” I playfully nudged his shoulder. “I’ve been houndin’ you and Travis about the fence for months.”
Quite honestly, I could’ve hopped over to their side to fix it myself, so I supposed I was as pigheaded as Hunter sometimes. Julian might’ve said as much about my stubbornness.
“Yeah…yeah, we know,” Hunter scoffed. “Go ahead and say it.”
“Nah, we’re not kids anymore.” I didn’t want to fight with my brother or hold any more grudges, but he sure did make it hard.
“We’re sure not, are we?” A strange look crossed his face, like something had just clicked for him. He glanced at me as if weighing his options, and then his eyes swept over my shoulder somewhere. “I’ve always been jealous of you.”
“Of me?” I sputtered, wondering if I’d heard him right. “What are you talking about?”
“You get to live your life or whatever,” he said with a bit of bite.
Seriously? A spike of anger arose inside me. “And what a life it is.” I rolled my eyes as the bitter words formed on my lips. “I’m practically an outcast, even in my own family.”
“Fuck.” Red streaked his cheeks. “I’ve been an asshole to you.”
“Can’t argue with you there.”
“I deserve that. I might not understand your sexuality, but you’re my brother and I should’ve…I dunno…not been such a bitter jackass about everything.”
“Might’ve helped if I knew you were bitter and not just an outright homophobe.”
“A little of both,” he admitted. “Travis has been riding my ass about it, and rightly so.”
I smiled a little, imagining Travis lecturing him about being a better brother—human being, even.
“Probably won’t believe me, but I never let the guys talk shit about you,” he said, in reference to the group of friends we’d seen him with at the rodeo. “Doesn’t happen anymore, but it did when you first…came out or whatever it’s called.”
“Yeah?” I replied, and he nodded. I didn’t even know what to say to that. “Thanks?”
He shrugged, pink still tinging his cheeks. “I know it’s not much. Just wanted you to know.”
A quiet sort of tension grew between us as my brain flickered through the whirlwind of confessions he’d dumped in my lap. Maybe he was having a come-to-Jesus moment or something. But the thought of him being envious of me, after all the bullshit, was…something.
“What is it you want to do anyway?” I asked. “Rodeo circuit?”
“Not necessarily.” He looked away, biting his lip. “Just…decide for myself, is all.”
“I get it. It’s important to have the freedom…to become who you were meant to be. Maybe now you can understand why my marriage to Sienna wasn’t a good fit, after all?”
His eyes widened, cartoonish-like, in a light bulb sort of moment. Thank fuck. About time.
“Don’t get me wrong, I made plenty of mistakes. Ignoring who I was, for one. And all the shame that comes with that.” Not that he’d really understand, but it was nice to have the opportunity to say it to him, finally. And he was definitely listening because his eyes were trained on me pretty intently. “Marryin’ Sienna was another. Except I really can’t say that because now we have Ainsley, you know? Wouldn’t want it any other way.”
He nodded, seeming to chew on that.
“I know it’s taken me too damned long to come around,” he said in a solemn voice. “For what it’s worth, I’m tryin’ to do better now. Obviously, I’ve still got a ways to go. I’m learnin’ to accept that you’re gay and you’re not tryin’ to hurt nobody.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“Well, I’m learning to accept that you’re super straight,” I joked, waving my hand. “And had to watch you flirt with all the available ladies of Cottonwood Creek my entire life.”
Okay, not all of