Have Mercy - Christina Lee Page 0,89

said, clapping her hands like it was Christmas morning or something.

Guess it was as good a time as any. And probably better that I wasn’t alone.

I lifted the package, then carefully unwrapped the butcher paper, imagining Kerry’s thick, calloused fingers judiciously applying the tape. God, I was pathetic.

Once the paper was off, I stared down at what looked like the back of a wooden picture frame stained dark, possibly by Kerry’s own hands. Had he made this? I thought back to that afternoon when Kerry had helped me haul all the scrap wood away, and the stitch returned to my chest.

I could tell Caitlin’s patience was running thin as her knee jiggled beside me. Before she could snatch the gift from my hand and look for herself, I flipped the frame over, and gasped.

It was a photo of me and Mercy in the paddock, undoubtedly during one of our sessions with Dr. Barnes. I was standing in front of him, the soft brush in my hand.

And then I read the inscription on a small silver plate under the picture: I will always think of him as yours.

Well, that did it. My eyes filled with unshed tears, and I tried furiously to blink them away.

I could feel Caitlin and Mom staring at me, but I could barely lift my gaze long enough from the gift Kerry had so innocently sent me off with, not fathoming it was going to absolutely shred me. Goddamn it.

“Can I see?” Caitlin asked in a cautious tone maybe because she knew I was about to break down. It was just the distraction I needed from my own thoughts.

I handed it to her. “It’s me and Mercy.”

Mom stepped up to the bed to glance at the photo over Caitlin’s shoulder.

“Oh, honey, that’s beautiful,” she said, and Caitlin concurred.

“Yeah, Kerry must’ve taken it when I…” I trailed off, trying to picture it. It might’ve been my last session with Dr. Barnes, when I was really feeling connected to Mercy. I could see it in the photo, the way I was leaning toward him and making eye contact.

“Honey, are you okay?” Mom’s hand landed on my shoulder. Uh-oh, I had gone somewhere inside my head, but this time dreaming of Wyoming. It was the better alternative but still painful in its own way.

I blinked up at her. “I…yeah…sorry…was just trying to think of what day this was.”

“Well, it was lovely of him to gift you such a special memory.”

“That’s Kerry,” I replied. “Always thoughtful.”

He was that and so much more.

When Mom’s cell rang—regarding a property she was selling in the West Village—she excused herself to the other room to take the call.

It barely registered that she’d left as I stared down at the photo again. I thought about Mercy and what he might be doing right that instant. Was he in the pasture with Rocket and Piper? Did he miss our grooming sessions like I did?

Okay, pathetic. The horse was so not thinking of me.

What was that saying Sienna and Kerry said they had?

Only takes one horse to get their hooks in you.

Guess I was already a goner, not only for the horse, but a certain cowboy too.

“Hey,” Caitlin said in a quiet voice. “There’s something you’re not telling me. And don’t try to deny it.”

I looked at her then, and the way her eyes softened told me she had an inkling but was waiting for me to say it out loud. Maybe it would make me feel better if I finally did. So I just went for it. This was Caitlin, and I had nothing to lose.

I cleared my throat. “Kerry and me…”

Her hand flew to her mouth, her eyes widening in understanding. “Did something happen between you two?”

I looked away, my cheeks inflamed. “Yeah.”

“Holy shit balls. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it had to be a secret. We’re sort of like family, and…”

“No, you’re not! You’re only connected by marriage. A dissolved marriage,” she said, and I nearly laughed because she sounded like me all those weeks trying to convince Kerry that we were two consenting adults wildly attracted to each other so why not go for it.

“Well, he’s honorable like that.” I motioned with my hand. “He’d never want to hurt Sienna like he did when he first came out.”

“So he feels he owes them penance for being gay?” she said in her blunt style.

“Something like that,” I replied, thinking about how much of himself he’d already given. But it was also one of the things