about. She might find that funny, if she didn’t suspect it came from his sheer embarrassment that he’d given into his dick and slept with someone he didn’t actually want.
“Nina,” he said finally, “you’re twenty-three years old.”
“You didn’t seem to mind that when you had your tongue between my legs.”
He grimaced, letting go of her hand. “Sweetheart. Could you not—”
“What? Remind you of how awful it all was?”
“You know it wasn’t awful.” He stood, beginning to pace the room. Kind of annoying how the action that helped him focus made her want to throw something. “I hope I didn’t… Did it seem…?” He hesitated, turning to frown at her. “Did I act like it was awful?”
She set her jaw, drawing her knees up to her chest and wishing, more than ever before, that she could just fucking disappear. “I mean, you threw me out 0.5 seconds after finishing the job, so—”
“I did not throw you out,” he said, his tone suddenly fierce. “I would never do that. You left.”
“Okay, yeah. But you wanted me to leave.”
“No I fucking didn’t.” He was speaking through gritted teeth now, his scowl ferocious. “I wanted to take back the whole thing—”
“Great! Fucking great!”
“But I never wanted you to leave.”
“What’s the bloody difference?”
“The difference is that no matter what happens between us, I always want you around. Always. Because you’re way more important to me than sex or any of that bullshit. I mean, come on, Nina.” He threw up his hands. “I know I said things all wrong, but I was right then and I’m right now. What are we going to do? Fuck each other and act like nothing happened? You want me to be like—” He broke off with a curse, turning away from her, and she knew he hadn’t meant to say so much. Sometimes—very rarely—his temper got away from him. He hated it when that happened.
But even though she knew his mind must be a hurricane, she was too angry not to push. “Like what?” she demanded, rising to her feet. “Like me?”
“No,” he said immediately, turning to look at her. “No. That’s not what I meant.”
She almost wanted to disbelieve him—to take his cut-off words as an insult, as a comment on her semi-notorious sex life. Some people in this city called her a man-eater. She truly did not give a fuck.
But if James had tried to hurt her like that, he’d have succeeded. And yet, she knew he hadn’t, and never would.
“What, then?” she asked, wrapping her arms around herself. Tight. Tight enough to hurt, to push at her own ribcage.
“Stop that,” he muttered, the words automatic, his tone distracted. He strode over and took hold of her wrists, tugging open her arms and sliding into the space he’d created. And now they were hugging, her cheek pressed to his shirt, his heartbeat strong under her ear, her tense muscles melting. Nina told those muscles, very sternly, not to bow to the enemy. She and James were having an argument, for fuck’s sake. She should not be inhaling his scent like it was oxygen.
Still, she had the presence of mind to push again. “James?”
His hand came to rest at her nape, fingers sliding carefully into her hair. “Shh. I’m working up to something.”
“To what?” She leaned back, trying to look at him, but he held her close.
“I’m putting my shit on the line here, Cupcake,” he said wryly. “Give me a second.”
“Stop calling me ‘Cupcake’.”
“No. Mark and I swore a solemn vow to irritate you wherever possible and I refuse to abandon my brother-in-arms.”
She rolled her eyes. “Why, when I was born with only one older brother, have I been cursed with two?”
Abruptly, he pushed her back until their eyes met. His gaze was steady, even more serious than usual. “I’m not your brother, Nina. In any way. Trust me.”
She felt an uncharacteristic blush heat her cheeks. “I know that. I—”
“I don’t want you to think of me as a quick fuck,” he said suddenly, the words cutting into the space between them. “That’s why I stopped things, before. That’s why I shouldn’t have done it. You’re young, and you’re you, and I love you for it, but I can’t be like these little boys you take to bed. We’re not like that. We’re friends. We matter.”
Oh. Oh. Understanding was like a fist to the gut. It actually stole her breath, realising what had been going through his head. Did he really think she’d treat him like everyone