away from me. She has to feel it too.
I hope.
I have so much hope it could power me through the rest of the year.
Still, I wait for her. “All right. I’m ready—for whatever you need to say.”
“The hard thing is . . .” She takes another step, another breath, then reaches for me, running her fingers along my arm to take my hand. My skin tingles everywhere from that touch.
“Well, Claire and I used to joke about ‘the hard thing.’ Saying the hard thing. Because, I’d never said it. I’d never felt it. Or I didn’t think I had . . .” Her tongue slips out to dampen her lips, and I want to kiss her so much it’s probably criminal. “But I think I’ve been closer to the hard thing than even I realized. I mean, of course, I had a crush on you for the longest time,” she says, with a slightly shy, completely adorable smile. “I’d be over at your parents’ place, hanging out with Claire, and you’d prowl through the living room on your way to some cool, older brother place, and I’d imagine what it would be like to go with you. To be one of the girls you dated. You were this . . . epic figure. This sexy, confident guy who always knew what to say.”
“That’s a lot to live up to,” I say, my voice a little gravelly.
“But it’s not,” she insists. “Because that’s who you really are. I realized that as I grew up. I wasn’t seeing you through rose-colored crush glasses. You really are that cool.”
I shake my head. “Ruby, I—”
“No,” she says. “You have to own your awesome, Hendrix—the way you made me own mine. You’re bold and honest, and you live fully and without regret. And I love that about you. I love who you are.” She threads her fingers through mine. “At the hotel, when I said that you don’t lie—that’s one of the things I’m most crazy about. You’re not just the cool guy. You’re the good guy. You’re a good person with a huge heart.” Her other palm comes to rest on my chest, her fingers spread over my pecs. “You love deeply and fiercely. And I’ve always felt honored to be one of the people under your heart umbrella.”
She must feel my heart thumping wildly, beating madly. “You always will be. That’s what I said in my letter,” I start, because I can’t hold it in any longer.
“You’re making it hard for me to finish,” she says, but there’s a playful note in her voice.
And I love it. Love her. Love the way she sees me, the things she makes me feel, and the thought of keeping her under my umbrella for a long, long time.
“Go on.” I mime zipping my lips.
“I did a lot of thinking the last two days, and a lot of talking. I realized that sharing the list with you has shown me so much. Mostly, how beautiful life is, even when it’s hard. And how much better every day is when you’re in it.” Her hand curls around my shirt now, like she’s putting all her strength into this, into the hard thing. “So, I’m here to say it. The thing I’ve never said to anyone else, never felt, because no one else could come close to this. To you. To us.” She draws in a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. “I love you, Jesse Hendrix, and that’s both the hardest thing and the easiest thing I’ve ever said.”
The way she stands tall, holding my gaze, the way she owns her words, is so damn beautiful. And it’s everything I’ve wanted for her for the last few years.
“This is the part where you talk,” she whispers after a beat. “And hopefully say really hard, easy things to me too?”
I cup her face, my breath rushing out as I assure her, “Yes. All the hard and all the easy.”
A smile bursts onto her lips. “Yeah?”
“Oh, yeah. I’ve been falling in love with you for the longest time, Ruby Valentine. That’s what I said in the note. That I love you. And that I’ll wait for you . . . if you’ll let me. I want to make this work. To make us work.”
Her eyes shine. “Like . . . us us? Like, you’re my sexy boyfriend? Even though you’re moving to L.A. and long-distance stuff is probably hard?”
I nod, relief rushing through my chest. “Yeah. But not too hard. Not