little heart. Standing next to her is a young man, maybe in his thirties. He’s got long brown hair and glasses.
“That’s Barbelo,” Lydia says. “He wants to meet you.”
“Meet me?” I ask. But that’s not what I want to say. I want to ask her what the hell is going on. How could she do that to Cal?
“Now go to your cloister and grab what you need.” Lydia slips the photograph back in her pocket. “We leave for Nevada tonight. I’m taking you to Plemora.”
If Lydia really is taking me to Plemora, then that will make everything all right. If I get to meet Barbelo, then he’ll make everything okay.
Can I trust what Lydia is saying?
I could follow her directions right now and still be safe. I could run to my cloister and lock myself inside, like I told Seth I was going to do forever. I could stay in there and never come out.
That would mean leaving Cal unguarded with Lydia, and I won’t do that. I don’t know what Lydia would do to Cal alone here with her gun.
But if Lydia thinks I’m disobeying her, then we’re both done for.
I tilt my head and look up at her with soft eyes, the perfect look of submission Ms. Corina taught me years ago. “Can’t I take some of your clothes, Ms. Lydia? I don’t want to ever leave you again. Headmaster Russell made me think you were in danger!” I make my chin quiver.
“Oh, baby.” Lydia hugs me across Cal’s lopsided body. “Don’t listen to anything that buffoon has to say. Grab my suitcase and let’s go.”
That’s what we do. When we close the doors to Cal’s cloister, Lydia locks him in there for good. I have to follow her, even though I have no idea if Cal is still alive. So I try not to think about him. I try not to think about Cal kissing my cheek or teaching me about science. I try not to think about how worried he was the night I went out riding or how he flew across the ground, attacking those Viruses and yelling at them to leave his kids alone. I try not to think about what Cal said to me just now, maybe the last words I’ll ever hear him say. Blanca. Remember you are loved.
I wish there was a way to fix this. I wish somebody would tell me what to do. But the only person I can count on right now is me.
That’s how I know I’m screwed.
Keep yourself safe. Leave a note. Don’t trust Headmaster Russell. Those are the instructions Cal has ingrained in me. Those and the last direction he gave, Remember you are loved.
But I’m in Lydia’s car right now leaving Silicon Valley, and I have no idea if I’ll ever come back. All the road signs point to Nevada.
“Don’t lean too close to the windows,” Lydia cautions, as she shifts gears.
“Yes, Ms. Lydia. Of course, Ms. Lydia.” I pull back and align my body to the seat. From the corner of my eye, I can still see the billboards: Trevor and me kissing in the rain. Sarah and her wrinkle cream. The dozens of other Vestals I know selling things money can’t buy.
Then we pass a newsboard.
the vestal ethan found dead, hands severed!
A chill comes across me, and I feel my palms go sweaty. I turn to Lydia, not wanting to utter the words, but needing to know the truth. “Is Ethan dead?”
Lydia keeps her eyes on the road. “Yes. Barbelo’s been monitoring him for months.”
“Why?”
“Ethan corrupted himself. He sealed his fate as soon as he got those chips.”
That’s not true, and I know it. Ethan sealed his fate as soon as he got his golden cuff. I look down at my own wrist and wish I could tear the platinum right off.
Lydia flicks on the turn signal before changing lanes. “Once you enter the public world, you can never go back. Ethan opened himself up to chaos when he got those chips. Barebelo said it was my duty to cleanse him.”
Lydia killed Ethan? Something inside me breaks. My heart crushes my lungs, and my stomach feels sick. A dark thought occurs to me. “People might think it’s me,” I say, “because I was riding my motorcycle.”
“That, and the security guard footage.” Lydia smiles like it’s her own private joke.
“I have to go back, Ms. Lydia! I have to let people know it wasn’t me.”
“Already taken care of it. Open up the glove