forearms on the countertop. “What am I going to do?”
The last few days had been tough. A phone call with Spence that morning had underscored their difference of opinion instead of bringing them closer again. It was probably Jaden’s fault for doubling down on his annoyance instead of giving his brother the benefit of the doubt.
But Spence had pushed him too hard into doing this when he wasn’t ready. Even if the outcome was perfect, Jaden hadn’t asked him to help him change.
It made Jaden feel like maybe Spence was starting to see him as a burden. Could he blame him? After the last few years of looking after Jaden, Spence might want to go and live his own life.
Jaden’s groceries were starting to run low. Sure, he had cans of soup and bread—the important stuff—but nothing he could cook with like fresh veggies. He hadn’t expected to be cooking to impress anytime soon.
Henry was back from his bush trip today, and on his way over any time now. He was just stopping to shower first. And even though Jaden was so excited to see Henry, this shadow of dread tempered his excitement.
“Ugh, I can’t feed him cans of tomato soup,” Jaden mumbled. There was no way to make that a romantic afternoon of cooking for two. After texting playfully about what to cook together, Jaden had to face the actual facts of his cupboards.
Jaden knew perfectly well that he was overreacting a little bit. The leftover exhaustion and stress from pushing himself so far outside his comfort zone was like a fog, slowing his thoughts and making him fixate on one point in the distance.
Sandra, Jaden’s therapist, had been impressed as hell that he’d made it through the date without any bigger meltdowns. And that had released something in Jaden’s chest—a knot of stubborn frustration that he hadn’t done better.
Goddamn it, he’d taken the leap of a lifetime. He’d done really fucking fantastically, actually.
Phone therapy was his usual—it was easier than leaving the house weekly. Every month or two, he went out for a session in her office, but it was always a big deal when he did.
And he always had this recovery period for a day or two afterward when everything in his life just seemed hard. Except, usually, his dick. That had had a mind of its own these last few days.
Jaden blushed at the thought, which brought him full-circle to his current worry again.
I just want to impress him. Jaden bit his lip and slid to the kitchen floor, which was one of his favorite places to sit when he was moping. That and the corner of the living room, where the paint was scuffed from so many afternoons curled in a tight ball. Thankfully, those days were rare now.
Jaden’s phone chimed. He groaned and dug it out of his sweatpants pocket. There was no more delaying the inevitable.
Ready to see a friendly face? :) Henry’s text read.
Despite himself, Jaden smiled as the butterflies sprang to life in his stomach again.
More than :) Just one thing. Um, I can’t find anything good to cook with! Spence hasn’t picked up groceries for me yet and I’m kind of running low. Sorry :( Is soup OK?
Jaden bit his lip, embarrassed at himself. If only he could get over himself, grab his car keys, go downstairs, drive to the store, choose the right foods, check out, come home, and unpack them.
Oh, fuck, that sounded like a week’s worth of bravery. Jaden had spent everything he had just staying calm in that helicopter, much less the rest of it.
No problem. I’ll bring Chinese!
Jaden’s shoulders sagged with relief and his stomach rumbled at the very suggestion. Wait, had he forgotten to eat again? He couldn’t remember. Without work today, the hours had blurred together. He’d asked for more shifts, but his call center work from home was always unpredictable. He was up at odd hours to take the shifts he could, and he was grateful for them.
That would be amazing! Thank you!
Henry was legitimately perfect. Jaden’s heart swelled that much more as he beamed to himself.
My pleasure. Can’t wait to see you.
You too!
Jaden tossed his phone on the floor and covered his eyes with his hands, allowing himself a little squeak. Then he hugged himself, shivering and squirm-dancing with nervous excitement.
Suddenly it felt like a real date, even though Henry was coming over to see him at home. So Jaden rushed to get showered and changed, his stomach flipping with anticipation.
It