Poe’s face when I threw it at his head. “Can you call me an Uber, please?”
“Yeah, no. There’s not a chance I’m letting you go and take that test by yourself. You’re stuck with me today. Let me change and wash my face, and we’ll go see your aunt.”
She really is the best friend ever.
“How could you have known this whole time and not said anything? On what planet did it seem like a good idea to not tell me my mother was dead?” My voice shakes with barely contained emotion. Cecily’s eyes are bloodshot, and her face is drawn.
She looks like she hasn’t slept in weeks. The same look she had when I first showed up in Folkestone. On what I now know was the day after she found out about her sister.
“You were so overwhelmed with everything, to the point of puking and passing out at my feet that first day, if you remember. My plan was to tell you that evening, but when I met you, everything changed. You seemed so strong, but there were visible cracks in your armor. I was so afraid that one wrong step would shatter you into a million pieces, and you’d leave and never come back. That would have devastated me. So selfishly, I chose not to say anything and filed it under ‘for her own good’. Once you had time to find your footing here in Folkestone, I thought we could sit down and talk about it. By then, I figured you’d be settled enough that you’d be able to forgive me for not telling you sooner.”
My silence and stony face are my only response.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Stella,” she tries again. “Lies of omission are still lies, and I made a mistake.” Honesty is shining from her face, and I realize I need to let go of my anger toward her even though I'm still hurt.
“Thank you for the apology, Aunty. I do forgive you, but I need some time to get back to normal, okay?” I pause, my shoulders slumping forward on my sigh. “There’s been a lot lately. A lot a lot.”
She tries to keep her murmur of relief to herself, but I hear it, and it lifts the corners of my lips slightly.
“You should know,” she drums her fingers on the counter, choosing her next words carefully. “Poe didn’t tell you at first because I made him swear not to, so please don’t hold that against him. That boy is loyal to a fault.” She gives me a lopsided attempt at a smile. “I guess his loyalty shifted though, and rightfully so. He felt you needed to know the truth, and he’s a bigger man than I am. I kept it from you because I was afraid you’d leave, and he told you knowing you would. That was a big sacrifice on his part, putting you before himself. Most forty-year-olds can’t do that, let alone an eighteen-year-old boy in love.”
That makes me laugh bitterly.
“Let’s not talk about Poe and love, okay?”
“Mmmm-hmmm,” her and Sunday say at the same time. Flustered and not wanting to be reminded of another part of my life that’s completely fucked up and broken, I take a risk and admit to Cecily how I feel regarding my mother’s death.
“Look, something’s been bothering me, and I probably need to get it out before I can even think of starting to deal with any of this mess.” I relay the revelation I had while pacing at Sunday’s, embarrassment and shame flushing my neck and cheeks. Expecting my aunt to be horrified, or at the very least shocked, I’m stunned when she admits pretty much the same thing I’ve been feeling.
“Honestly, Stella, I never expected to find her. When Poe called to tell me the lead was good, and she was there in Georgia, I wondered why I felt the way I did. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy, but something in me felt guilty for not being ecstatic.” Busying herself with brushing imaginary crumbs off the counter, she’s silent for a minute or so before continuing.
“When the second phone call came, I was hysterical. Full disclosure though, part of it was the shock of finding her and losing her again so quickly and so permanently, and part of it was the result of me berating myself for not being absolutely devastated by grief. My sister had just died. I should be wailing and gutted. Except I wasn’t. Sad and upset, yes,