and am just dozing off again when I feel more than hear a quiet sigh behind me.
He’s awake. Should I get this over with? I should probably just roll over and face the music.
Stretching lightly, I maneuver onto my back without dislodging Poe’s arm around me and manage to keep the edge of the sheet tucked under my arms so my breasts are covered. When I turn my face to him, what I see is not at all what I expected. In my head, this played out one of two ways after my little outburst—either he would be cocky as shit about it, or he wouldn’t be able to get me out of here fast enough. The latter option was winning by a mile in my internal scenario.
Instead, Poe’s face is an inscrutable mix of sorrow, agony, guilt, and something that looks like it might fall into the love-ish category. He rests his head on the arm curled beneath it, the longer top of his rich, espresso hair a disheveled mess like he’s either been running his fingers through it for the past hour or somehow managed to pull off half a dozen head spins while I was asleep. I can say for sure that I’ve never seen the level of despair in anybody’s eyes the likes of what is swimming in his right now, and it makes my stomach hurt.
“Poe?” I pause, worry uncoiling in the pit of my gut. Naturally, because I’m a spaz when it comes to anything emotional, I start rambling. “Are you okay? Is it what I said? Don’t worry about that. Probably just hormones or something talking.” My nervous laugh fades to silence when he lifts his arm from my waist and brushes the back of his hand lightly along my cheek, his lips turned up in a slight, soft smile. “Okay, you’re officially freaking me out. What’s the matter?” When I see the sheen of tears form in his eyes, I’m suddenly terrified of whatever’s happening and shrink back into the mattress while gripping the sheet tighter around me.
With an air of resignation, Poe props himself on one elbow and leans over me, his dark blue eyes searching my face.
No, not searching.
Memorizing.
“Star,” he leans in and grazes my lips with his. “What you said was everything. I swear I’ll never forget those words or what they mean to me; I’ll never forget this.” He kisses me again, but this time with more force, almost like he’s trying to tattoo the moment into both our memories. Finally, he sits up beside me, his back propped against the black leather headboard and the sheet covering him to the waist. The breath he draws is shaky, and he stares at his hands folded on his lap for a few seconds before he speaks. “There’s something I have to tell you.”
The raw physical pain ripping through my body is nothing compared to the mental anguish contorting my soul in ways I never thought were possible. I don’t fully remember how I got here, but here I am. Shuffling down the lonely shoulder of the coast highway in the gathering dusk, stopping every so often to find the nearest bush or patch of tall grass to dry heave into.
When Poe revealed his sins to me, my world went dark. The heart that only hours ago told a boy it loved him for the first time, splintered into a thousand glittering shards, each one sharper than the next and laced with venom and misery.
After learning the truth, I frantically tugged my sweater over my head, one arm briefly caught in the sleeve twisted behind me, and swiped my leggings up from where they landed earlier. Stumbling and tripping, I managed to struggle my way into them while trying to see through the agony and fury collectively attempting to blind me. Shoving my feet into my boots, my shaking fingers searched the top of the low dresser until they closed around my phone, and the temptation proved to be too much for me. I spun on my heel and let the device fly, aiming straight for him. The sound of the case cracking as it smashed into the wall three inches above his head was enough to shut Poe up, and the resulting silence was deafening. The need to escape the boy, the room, and the house had me flying down the stairs, unzipped boots flapping loosely around my ankles and the echo of Eunice’s maniacal laughter echoing behind me.
Headlights