Why don’t you just bring her on the road with us?”
I pause in the doorway. “Why would you say that?”
“Dylan, Chase and I have been talking and we think maybe you’d be a little bit more…”—she hesitates—“pleasant to be around if she was here.”
I cock an eyebrow. “Am I that bad?”
“Sometimes.” She gets up and slips on her shoes. “It’s like you’re the same as when Ella disappeared for eight months, only sometimes it’s worse. You’re always so down and you hardly ever go out with us.”
I rub my face with my hand, taking in what she said. “I’m sorry if I’ve been acting like a douche bag, but I can’t ask Ella to come with us.”
Naomi grabs the keycard from the dresser and puts it into the back pocket of her jeans. “Why not?”
“Because she’s happy,” I say, recalling the many times she chatted to me about her classes and life in an upbeat tone that made me smile. “And I can’t ask her to give that up, even though I’d love to have her here.”
Naomi shrugs and opens the door, letting in the sunlight and warm air that smells like cigarettes. “It’s your decision. I was just giving you an outsider’s point of view. Do you want to come out with us tonight? Drinks are on Dylan.”
“Nah, I think I’ll stay in tonight.” I wave her off and she leaves, closing the door behind her.
I pile my clothes in the stained bathroom sink and turn on the shower. The pipes squeak as the water sprays out. Raking my hands through my hair, I let out a frustrated sigh. My fingers grip the counter and my head falls forward.
My mom told me once about how she met my father. He lived in the town over from Star Grove and one day when they were both cruising, they ran into each other. Literally. The front end of my dad’s truck slammed into the back end of my mom’s car. Her car was trashed, but they ended up talking for hours after the tow truck had come and gone and my dad had offered to drive my mom home.
She said it was instant love, or at least that’s how she interpreted it in her hormonal teenaged brain. She was supposed to be leaving for college at the end of the summer, but she stayed behind and married my dad instead.
She said she regretted the decision, but I’m not sure if it’s because my dad turned out to be a cheating dick, or if she was just sad over the loss of her future.
I push away from the counter, coming to the conclusion to let it go for now. Ella and I are tough enough to make it through a month.
We already made it through hell and back.
Chapter 2
Ella
Blake gives us a ride to lunch and then drops us off back at campus about an hour later. I try to be happy, but fail. According to my therapist, I shouldn’t try to conceal my feelings because it’s unhealthy. She says bottling things up and letting them eat away at me usually ends in disaster; that suffering in silence is never an option.
Lila hops out of the back of the car when Blake pulls into an empty parking space. “Thanks for the ride, Blake.” She shuts the door and shimmies off toward the sidewalk.
“Are you okay?” Blake asks me as I unbuckle my seatbelt. “You seem kind of quiet today.”
“I’m fine.” I start to open the door. “I just have a lot on my mind.”
Pulling the beanie off his head and ruffling his hair, he rotates in his seat to face me. “I’m a good listener.”
I eye him over warily. “I’m sure you probably don’t want to hear it.”
“Try me.”
“It’s about my boyfriend.”
“Ah.” His eyebrows arch upward. “The infamous Micha.”
“That would be the one,” I say. “He’s leaving… clear across the country.”
He wiggles the keys out of the ignition. “And you’re upset about this, I take it?”
“Well, obviously. He’s leaving and he was supposed to drive out here from LA this weekend.” The more I talk about it aloud, the more panic chokes at my chest. “But now he has to drive out to New York tomorrow. I have no idea why I’m telling you this. I’m sorry.” I climb out of the car and close the door.
He meets me at the front of the car, swings his bag over his shoulder, and pushes the lock button, the headlights blinking. We walk in