know.” I shrug. “I didn’t look. I was too busy trying to get here to see you.”
He reaches over the console and places his hand on my thigh, bringing warmth between my legs. “Come on. You know you want to let me see how fast it can go. And then afterward, we can pull over and you can take all that excitement out on me in the backseat.”
“You are ridiculously horny,” I tell him, smiling. “But I’m sure you know that.”
“I do,” he says simply, halting at a stoplight. The red glow illuminates the cab. “I’m on the fucking road, away from you all the time… it’s becoming a real problem.”
Panic strangles me as I think of him being far away in New York surrounded by women who would probably happily take care of his problem. I exhale gradually, so he won’t hear the unsteadiness of my breathing.
“Hey.” He strokes my inner thigh with his thumb as the light turns green. “I know what you’re thinking and you need to relax. I would never do anything to hurt you.”
I smile, but it doesn’t feel real. People never mean to do things that are hurtful, yet sometimes it just happens, through an intense moment, through brief rationalization, or by simply speaking words that only belong inside one’s head.
Or simply by giving up for a second.
People hurt each other all the time.
Micha
Ella has a wandering mind by the time we pull up to the club, but so do I. I’m not sure if her surprise visit was a good thing or a bad thing because it’ll make it harder to leave when morning comes around.
It turns out that only Naomi, Chase, and Lila are at the club. Dylan left with the hostess, but no one really seems to know where to—or they just don’t care.
There’s some really cheesy music playing in the background and a woman wearing red boots and a cowgirl hat is dancing in front of an old guy, trying to seduce him, but she’s drunk and keeps falling down.
An instant tension builds at the table once we sit down. Lila targets Ella with a heavy look and mouths bitch while nodding her head at Naomi.
I raise an eyebrow, glancing between Ella and Lila. While Naomi’s distracted with Chase, Lila leans over the table and shields the side of her face with her hand. “Remind me to tell you a lovely little story later.”
It’s hard not to roll my eyes at the silliness. “Should we order an appetizer or something?”
“We already did,” Naomi snaps, shooting me a dirty look. “And we ordered drinks, but neither has been brought out yet.”
I hold my hands up in front of me and lift my eyebrows. “Okay, sorry for asking.”
She practically snarls at me and I wonder if a catfight broke out between Lila and her. “Well, I’m getting annoyed with the crappy service.”
I drape my arm around Ella’s shoulder and whisper in her ear, “What are you looking at?”
She jumps, startled, and turns her head toward me. “It was nothing. I was just dazing off.”
I track the direction she was looking, to an old couple cuddled up together in a booth. They’re a little bit rough around the edges, like they’ve had one too many road trips across the country on their Harleys.
“Why were you staring at the old couple?” I play with her hair.
She shakes her head promptly. “I wasn’t.”
I stare at her lip as she nibbles on it nervously, but decide to let whatever she’s been weird about go for now, not wanting to ruin the one night we get together for the next month.
Ella
For some reason, I find myself staring at an old couple and picturing what it would be like if Micha and I were still together at that age. The man feeds the woman a bite of his food and she leans over to give him a kiss. It’s fascinating watching them because my parents were never that affectionate with each other.
The more I think about it, the more my nerves own me. I can’t see Micha and me together, old and sitting at a table, feeding each other—I can’t see anything.
Micha is concerned about me, like he always is when I’m acting like a weirdo. I focus on the conversation, nodding my head, even though I have no idea what’s going on.
When we’re leaving, Lila seizes my elbow and rips me away from Micha’s grasp.
“What are you doing?” I say, stumbling to keep up with her as