If Maggie is to be believed, Olive wasn’t the only one who would have liked to marry Conor. As far as Maggie’s concerned the whole village was interested in him. And there they were. All gathered in my house to check out the winner. I’m sure some of them thought I got myself pregnant to trap Conor.
I place the bottle into the warmer and lift Shay into my arms. He smells like hope.
When he’s had enough, I change him and place him back in the crib, where he immediately falls back asleep. He’s such a good baby.
Back in the bed, I pull the duvet tight around my neck and close my eyes. It takes a while but eventually I fall asleep, only to be abruptly woken to the sound of Conor’s phone beeping. Lying still, I listen to him rummaging at my side.
‘Is everything okay?’ I say in a quiet voice.
‘Yes, it’s just the alarm down at the brewery. You go back asleep, I won’t be long.’
Conor pulls on a tracksuit and leaves the room. I stare up at the lonesome star, wondering why the hell he doesn’t get the brewery alarm fixed. That’s not the first time it’s gone off in the middle of the night and Conor is always the one who has to leave his bed and go and sort it out.
The sound of Conor’s car echoes in the silence. It took a while for me to get used to the quiet. The bliss of isolation. In the city, cars passed my window all night long and at the weekend, drunk fools joined them. That’s one thing I don’t miss. But I do miss the convenience of everything. The shops. The cinema. The gym. Everything was within walking distance, including my job. Now I have to make sure I don’t need anything after eight p.m. or I’ll have to drive to the next town which is almost fifteen minutes each way.
I also miss the fact that you could be anonymous in the city. Living peacefully amongst the big crowds with no one knowing who you were. Everyone in this village knows everyone else’s business. They make it look like they’re all one big happy family who would do anything for one another. But there are secrets here. Lurking behind the smiles and expensive clothes. Vicky Murphy’s death proves that. Stabbed with her own knife and left to bleed to death on the floor of her apartment while the perfect little village slept.
And now, someone wants to bring that to my doorstep. To destroy my happiness. And the only person I can talk to about it is Amanda. She’ll help me decide what to do. Amanda has been with me through all my ups and downs, stood by me when no one else believed me. What will she make of this? More trouble. There are times I think it searches me out. No matter what I do, something bad has to happen to spoil it. To bring me down and keep me in my place.
Chapter Nine
I thought I’d be all glamourous and shiny when Amanda arrived: makeup covering my pale face, my hair blow-dried, fully dressed for the day and a Jo Malone scent leaving a trail as I walked down the hall. But no, not to be. Instead, I’m still in my nightclothes. My hair is hanging limply over my pale face. The only smell in the air is baby puke. Amanda called first thing this morning to say she had the morning off work so she’d pop down for a couple of hours to see her little nephew.
Shay has been crying since he woke up at six a.m. and no matter what I do, he won’t stop howling unless I’m rocking him in my arms. I knew it was all too good to be true. Babies are supposed to cry. They’re supposed to make everything you thought you were going to get done that day a distant dream. Conor had to run to the bank first thing so he couldn’t even mind him to let me have a shower. Thank God it’s only Amanda calling.
Her little two-tone Mini comes up the driveway and I can already feel myself relax. Moving to the hall door, I open it and wave. Amanda pulls up outside the house. She’s a good bit smaller than me and skinny as a broom handle. Her smile reaches from ear to ear as