little, but Audrey didn't notice. She batted her eyelashes at him. “No really, you would,” he flirted. I wished I could see Luke's face, because his back was stiff as a board, as though someone had poured cold water down his spine. Between his back and Andrew's expression, I was having a hard time not laughing at their reactions to their parent's sudden attempts at flirting.
I relaxed back into the seat, watching with amusement as the two parents talked like they were back in grade school. I kept expecting Ray to get up and pull Audrey's ponytail at any moment. Audrey sipped gently on her straw, laughing at any joke Ray told. I had never really thought of her as pretty before, but as she sat smiling at Ray, I could see why both Ray and Mr. Miller had fallen for her. That's when it struck me- I had never seen her smile like that before. It was her smile that made her beauty, and when she put it on, she was gorgeous.
Britney came with their food and fresh drinks, whisking the empty glasses away. Audrey and Ray never even questioned where the new drinks came from, they were so caught up in one another. Andrew flashed me a smile before digging into his burrito, Luke turning around to grin at the mirror as well. I wanted to get up and dance around the bar. My idea was working!
Eli grinned and offered me what was left of his nachos. I grabbed a chip, suddenly feeling hungry. Things were suddenly going better than I could have hoped. I knew there was still a long way to go, but the first step had been taken. The spark had been lit!
▪▪▪
"Do you have any idea how much my mom's head hurts right now? She is in this miserable yet happy state. It's awesome," Andrew said into his phone, laughing. It sounded good to hear him laugh.
"They were both drinking like tequila was about to be outlawed. I wonder how Ray is doing. He got sloshed- It's a good thing you guys left when you did. Ray put on a sombrero and threatened to dance on the bar," I said giggling into the phone. "Luke says he's never seen him that drunk before."
"I've never seen my mom flirt like that before. I nearly died when she started playing footsie with me," his laughter was infectious.
"So that's what that 'oh my god!' face was for!"
"That, and then Ray started playing footsie with me too!" Andrew snorted as he laughed, making me laugh harder. I hadn't felt this relaxed and happy in a long time.
"So what happens next?" I asked when I finally caught my breath, my sides aching from laughing so hard.
"Ray already asked Mom if she would like to do something this weekend," I could hear the smile in his voice.
"That's awesome!" I exclaimed, jumping up from my bed to walk around the room.
"I know. I think Luke put him up to it, but he still texted this morning saying he had a great time and if she wanted to do something this weekend. The details still need to be worked out, but it's progress," he said. I could hear him opening the refrigerator and pulling milk out and pouring it over cereal.
"I have an idea. Have you heard of the Winter Carnival they are holding this weekend at the ice skating lake in Evergreen?" I heard the milk thud onto the counter.
"I went last year. It was great, really romantic in the evening. It's perfect- Holly, you are a genius. Why'd you ever leave school? They should have just given you a degree," he said, his smile carrying through on his voice. The mention of school made me go cold.
"Great. I have to go, Andrew. I'll call you later," I said quickly and hanging up. Andrew's offhand comment made my good mood vanish quicker than lightning. I knew he didn't mean anything by it, but more than anything, I didn't want Andrew to know how badly I had botched my life. Better for him to think it was my decision than for him to know the truth.
I set my phone down on my nightstand and lay down on my bed, hiding my head under the blankets as the memories of my failure washed over me. I hated myself for screwing everything up. Shame covered me like a heavy blanket, smothering and suffocating. I wished I could just erase the last year of my