I’m feeling, if that’s possible.”
I stared at him sharing everything he was feeling with me. “What do you mean by this? You said if I don’t want this?”
“I mean, me.”
I shook my head, trying to rid my thoughts of disbelief that hovered there. Was he really offering me the world on a platter? Could it be possible that he really wanted me? He was answering prayers I’d never dared to pray. Shrugging, I fought back tears. “Austin. I have nothing to offer you.”
Faster than the breeze, he swept in, cupping my cheeks. “I don’t need a goddamn thing but you—and that’s something you can offer me. The one thing I want.”
“I want you too. So much.” Two tears spilled over. “I’m so scared. You don’t even really know me. And what If we don’t agree on things. Do you spank kids? Do you believe in abortion? Do you go to church? Because I’m not really sure what I believe about that anymore. And what about gay rights? I have some really good friends that are gay, and if you can’t accept them then...” I sniffed. There were so many things that could keep us apart. How was this ever going to work? He fought a smile. “It’s not funny. These things matter, and what if you think we should go to war, and I don’t, and then we fight about it. And do you even like The Office because I think it’s really funny with Michael and Dwight and Pam and Jim and…”
He chuckled out loud. “Phoebe. Sweet Pea. Breathe,” he laughed, wiping my cheeks with his thumb. “We can talk about every one of these issues, but you are your own person and you get to believe how you want, and I’ll respect that. Most importantly, if we agree that Jim and Pam were meant for each other, and Michael was the best boss ever, we can overcome anything.” His white teeth beamed even on the cloudy day. If I wasn’t already in love with him before, I certainly was falling after that. “Look at me,” he said with an authority that made me look. “I would never hurt those kids. I will help you in any way you ask. I will always know my place.”
Unable to maintain distance a second longer, I jumped into his arms. Though being with him felt like royalty vs commoner, talking to him seemed to establish some sort of common ground. That’s really all that mattered. He mattered. He made me feel like I mattered. Burying my face in the crook of his neck, I sighed and hung on for the ride.
Chapter 9
AUSTIN
Irrational Decisions
PHOEBE WENT WITH Emma, Sam, and Ali for manicures and pedicures, although I knew she’d gotten her nails done before we left Texas. The guys went to pick up the matching slacks and jackets to wear on the beach. All of us stood in the measuring area waiting to make sure that everything fit fine.
“Sorry about what I said last night, man,” Grant said.
I shrugged. “It’s all good. Hoes before bros, isn’t that the saying?” I winked at Grant.
Zach laughed. “Yep. All day long.” But Ryan, Bret, Grant and Connor shook their heads. They hadn’t felt it yet. That feeling in your chest that changes the entire world as you know it. The feeling that when you’re away from her, you can’t wait to see her again even if it is just for a pedicure. They would know it someday when their Phoebe came along in the most unexpected of ways.
“I’m sure some girl will feel sorry for you guys some day and give you a second date.”
Zach and I laughed. Who’d have thought we’d laugh together again. Miracles do happen.
“Fuck you, man,” Grant laughed. “You were getting too old for the dating pool so damn good thing you found someone.”
I nodded. “That’s fair.” The lady taking measurements eyeballed me above the glasses resting on her nose and snickered.
“Speaking of pools, I was thinking we might come hang out in your hot tub and pool for a bit?” Grant asked.
“Yep. Fine with me.”
The lady tapped my leg, and I was done. When I stepped off the stoop, I texted Phoebe. Yes, I’d gotten pretty pathetic.
“Hey, pretty girl.”
I didn’t hear back, but her hands were probably tied up with the manicure—the thought of her tied up in any way turned me on. Whipped… was an understatement.
Seven guys swimming in an indoor pool and hot tub made for loud, obnoxious fun. It