case he got taken out by the Colombians that were causing the Five Points trouble.
“Let me think about it?” I asked, surprised by the way he’d thrown this at me. Finn could be an asshole, and no mistake, but it was the first time he’d asked something so major of me.
If I was being honest, to me, this was even bigger than him proposing, and we were Catholic, for Christ’s sake. Marriage to us was until death. No take backs.
But . . . a child?
A little boy with Finn’s dark hair and Fiona’s blue eyes.
A little girl with my red curls. . . .
I gulped at the very prospect.
He released a sigh and pressed a kiss to my lips. “Okay.”
I could tell I’d disappointed him. I curved my arms around his waist and tugged him close. “Do you know how my Mom died?”
He stiffened in my embrace. “No.”
“She died in an accident. A car careened into her, thirty miles over the speed limit. She was on life support for a week, and then, I had to make the decision to . . .” I couldn’t even say ‘switch off the machines’ without my eyes welling with tears.
“I understand,” he appeased, bussing my temple.
“When she died, I was alone. All alone in the world, Finn.” I closed my eyes because those damn tears wanted to fall. “I don’t want our baby to be alone.”
“He wouldn’t be. He’d have us.”
“You could get hurt, Finn. I could. I-I mean, it’s not like you’re a regular businessman, is it? We have men with gunshot wounds coming to our door, and over dinner, you get calls about prostitutes being raped. . . .”
A kiss was pressed to my forehead. “That doesn’t mean our child will ever be alone. Lena would love them until the dawn of a new age.”
I thought about that, then said, “That’s a funny way of phrasing it.”
“Lena’s a funny woman all round.”
I had to snicker at that. Then I pinched his side. “Don’t be mean.”
“Hell, I’m not. She’s the first to admit it.”
Because I knew he was right, I laughed. “You think she would?”
“I know it. And you don’t have to worry about me. I don’t work out on the streets. Not like Aidan Sr., Jr., and Eoghan.”
That had me gnawing on my bottom lip. “We could still be hurt, though.”
“Yeah, we could, but your mom wasn’t involved in Five Points’ business, Aoife, and she got hurt. That’s life, baby. Sometimes, we get dealt a shit hand.”
I knew he was right. Knew I was being irrational, but I also knew I was being rational. All of this was so fast, and throwing a baby into the mix was just nuts. But I knew it meant a lot to him, could see it in his soulful blue eyes.
It was then I realized how they’d changed.
I’d always thought of them as ice cold, so starkly blue that they were frigid. But now? As he looked at me, I saw the difference.
There was a light to them. A warmth that curled around my heart like an embrace.
“Okay,” I breathed, overwhelmed by the difference in the way he looked at me.
Those beautiful baby blues flared in surprise at my words. He frowned. “Huh?”
“I won’t take the pill today.” It was madness, but hell, he was right. It could take years for my cycle to regulate—I hoped.
“You promise?”
I promised him. And three hours later, I promised him more things.
To love him in sickness and in health.
To be true to him through the good times and the bad.
And to hold him for richer or for poorer.
As I made those vows, and as he made them to me, something settled inside me.
I was in St. Patrick’s; the huge church was frigid even though it was temperate outside, and there were only a handful of people standing in the pews.
I had no family here, no one except for Jenny and the other waitresses from the tea room, and yet, with each vow I spoke, I was enveloped into a new line.
I became a part of the O’Gradys and the O'Donnellys, and it filled me with a warmth I hadn’t realized I’d been missing since my mom’s death.
I missed her. Terribly. I wished she were here, even if she’d have bitched at me about marrying Finn. I’d have given my left tit for her to have walked me down the aisle instead of Aidan Sr. To have had her with me as I went out and bought a simple white