shuffled through them. The tension in his neck ebbed slightly. Ava had another dainty bite of potatoes, then stuck the spoon back in the container and brushed her hands off.
“All done!”
Benjamin spoke before I could. “Why don't you take your brownie to the window and eat it?”
“Can I have my tablet?” She clasped her hands together. “Pleeeease?”
His gaze flickered to the clock. “Fine. You haven't had it all today. You have one hour, all right?”
With a squeal, she snatched a brownie from the open box replete with colorful sprinkles and disappeared under the desk. So there was a sanctuary there. Benjamin turned to me then, eyes full of concern. I shuffled to change my position a bit, winced, and his gaze narrowed further.
“What happened?” he asked quietly.
I swallowed and repeated the most minimal details necessary to get the story across, and avoided descriptions of the actual blows that landed. I ended with what I hoped was an easy, “I'm staying at a hotel while we sort all this out. I won't go back there,” I added quickly. “Not even to check on him. My parents will probably come to town now and try to reason with him. Maybe talk with his doctor. But I'm . . . pretty much out of the Talmage picture for the time being.”
“Good.”
He said it with all the inflection of a rock. I swallowed and motioned to the food. “I brought you dinner.”
He frowned. “You still brought this after all that?”
“I promised that I would and Ava needed it,” I said quietly. “Maybe I did too.”
His stark expression shook me. “Yeah,” he finally murmured. “I get that.”
We lapsed into an eternal silence that had all my nerve endings firing. He stared off in space, his jaw tight. Meanwhile, I wandered into the deep quagmire of doubt I should have visited a while ago, perhaps before I came here.
Why was I here? Had this been a mistake? Benjamin saw me as that strange person that kept dropping off food. The waitress who joked with his brother about tattoos. And what did I see him as?
A safe place, maybe?
Was this some sort of subconscious attempt for me to feel safe after all that had happened? I should be laying in bed, watching stupid TV shows on ancient cable while sleeping this awful day off. Instead, I stood here trying to act like I wasn't in pain. Like I didn't want his comfort when I did want it. In fact, I wanted it so desperately tears burned my eyes. So why didn't I call my parents? Why didn't I call Dagny? They would comfort me.
Heck, even watching a funny show would comfort me.
But no one could keep me safe like Benjamin.
The realization came with a hearty sense of shock, maybe embarrassment. We weren't even friends. Hardly acquaintances. But I couldn't help the way I felt, or the utter truth behind it. Benjamin was safety personified. And maybe, on some small level, a sort of friend. If he even had those.
Unfortunately, I couldn't just jump up and haul out of the MMA Center the way that I wanted, because my ribs already ached just from holding back the sobs. So I did the only thing I could to save my pride.
“For heaven’s sake,” I whispered thickly, “can you just say something please? I can't stand this silence.”
He looked at me then, his expression so serious. His gaze dropped to my cheek before a gentle hand lifted to my face. His warm palm touched my skin, thumb hovering over my bone where the pulsing had become angry. He touched it softly. I held my breath as tears welled in my eyes.
“I hate this for you,” he whispered.
The tears dropped down my cheeks, sliding over his thumb.
“Me too.”
Free now, I couldn't stop the tears. My face twisted as a sob peeped out, jarring my ribs. His arms tensed and a moment of indecision crossed his face while I wrestled to gain control of the agony. My arm braced against my side uselessly. It only made it worse, and I sat there for a moment, a ball of twisted pain, before I could get a hold of myself. For a breath, I thought he'd pull me into his arms—I so desperately wanted him to—but Ava's voice broke through the room.
“Dad! These brownies are so good.”
Properly reminded of where we were, the strange moment ended and I turned away. This had definitely been a mistake. He owed me nothing and I'd revealed far