Fatal Secrets - Desiree Holt Page 0,23
episodes today I suppose I can’t argue with the need for some kind of security.”
“Thank god you’re not putting up a fight on this.” One corner of his mouth lifted in a bare hint of a smile. “At least not too badly.”
She ignored his last remark and busied herself opening the document on her laptop.
“Let me just pull up my notes. I want you to know how important this is to me. ”
He studied her for a long moment, the tension zipping through her body very obvious. What would Hank tell her about him? Would he give her all the ugly details of what nearly destroyed him? How long could he keep burying them? And what would she think when she knew all about him?
He was still wrestling with the shock that last night, out of nowhere, something invisible had connected them. Something he hadn’t felt with another person since before the disaster that ended his career as a SEAL. It was more than sexual attraction. Emotions he hadn’t felt in a long, long time had grabbed at him. He still wasn’t sure how to deal with it. The safest thing for him would have been to turn around when he saw her with Hank and run back to New Mexico. But he was tired of running. Maybe it was time to try and heal. And maybe this woman was the one who could help him.
As if!
It was a difficult problem to wrestle with but, in that instant, he made a decision to come clean with his situation. And once he got that out, to say something about the previous night before hiding it blew up in their faces. If it ended up she didn’t want him doing this, or she regretted last night, then Hank could find her somebody else. But he knew if he didn’t it would pop up when he least needed it to. And he was probably about to add to it, but he had to get it out there. Something unexpected inside him was pushing him.
“Zoe.” He finally broke the silence. “Are we going to just ignore the elephant in the room?”
She looked at him, the heat in her eyes warring with uncertainty.
He waited but when she didn’t say anything, he just jumped right in. It had to be brought out into the open.
“Fine. I’ll go first. We’ll just get this out of the way right now.”
After a long moment, she said, “Okay.”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “First of all, before we even get to last night, you should know the truth about me.” He blew out a breath. “I’m a fucking mess. No other way to state it. Have been for weeks. Cards on the table, I’ve been dealing with a lot of, uh, challenges since my discharge. Bitching about life, about my discharge from the SEALs and yeah, wallowing in my misery. That turned out to be a comfortable place to be. I know I’ve been driving people around me nuts. Not a big surprise, right?”
“Sean,” she began.
He held up a hand. “Tried hanging out in my hometown, but that didn’t work out too well. Then, out of the blue, Hank called me to come out here. I still don’t know why I accepted, only that I didn’t know what else to do with my life. I dragged my feet getting here, but he kept calling me. Shit. He’s a hard man to turn down.”
Zoe snorted a little laugh. “Tell me about it.”
“The reason I was in Helena,” he went on, staring down at his hands, “is because I was on my way to Eagle Rock. Hank practically browbeat me into it. Daring me to get my shit together.” He shook his head. “He’s a hard man to refuse.”
Zoe’s sweet lips curved in a tiny smile.
“Tell me about it.”
Sean swallowed a sigh. “He rubbed his jaw. “But Zoe, last night just blew my mind.”
“Oh?” She studied his face, her own expressionless. “What do you mean? Is that good or bad?”
“I’d say both. I hated to see you go this morning, but I knew it was for your own good. I’m just a piece of junk right now.” He rubbed his jaw. “I mean, it wasn’t just the best sex I’ve had since I can remember. It was more than that. We made a connection. You can try to tell me I’m wrong, Zoe, but you know you’d be lying. And it scared the ever-lovin’ shit out of me.” He paused. “Listen.