Mammy chimed in as she expertly made sure the blanket around the baby was secure. “My Murry’s nose don’t fail,” she said, appearing even more frail than she had earlier. “He sniffed ‘em all. I’m gonna agree that it’s probably a hoax, or that the mother humper isn’t here. Murry would of found ‘em.”
“Why don’t you go try to talk to Steve Perry,” Elle suggested as she nodded in the direction he was standing.
“Not leaving you,” I said, yearning to get closer to the lead singer of Journey. I had a birds-eye-view of my idol from atop the dais. I was tracking his every move. “Not safe.”
“Bullshit,” Elle said with a grin. “I’m no shrinking violet here. I can defend myself ten times over from each person in this room. I’m the Keeper of Fate. Our guests are just as terrified of me as they are of you.”
She did have a point. Elle was positively frightening. It was incredibly sexy. The party had been in full swing for a few hours and other than a few bloody scuffles amongst the Vampyres and Demons, it was relatively death free. Of course, the death toll could increase when the Seven Deadly Sins arrived, but I was counting on Lizard to put the fear of the Basement in them.
If someone was after me or my family, I would have thought they would have made their move by now. Of course, the simple fact that my Demon Army stood shoulder to shoulder around the perimeter of the ballroom might be deterring anyone stupid enough to have a go at me. Their presence raised the fear factor in the room and set a fabulous and dark mood.
“Okay,” I said, glancing around to see if Lizard had made it back with the Sins. It was risky to even let the Sins near Steve Perry since they had kidnapped him a few years ago. That plan could backfire badly. Maybe, I would just beg. It wouldn’t be my finest moment, but it might work. “Mammy and Sadie, you will stay with Elle while I stalk Steve Perry,” I instructed.
“Ya betcha, Lord of Dark Shit,” Mammy said with a wink, settling herself on the arm of Elle’s throne.
“Wouldn’t think of going anywhere,” Sadie replied, standing behind Mammy and rubbing her daughter’s back lovingly.
“We’ll stick with Elle too, Mongo Pecker,” Jane announced as she waddled up the dais stairs in a crystal boob tube and assless silver chaps. “I will personally kill the shit out of anything or anyone that comes near our new best friend, Elle, and the little man.”
“Best friend?” I choked out. The outfit had to be compliments of my mother. If Martha and Jane were indeed performing with my whackjob of a mother, I was certain she wanted them to be almost as sparkly as she was.
“Yep, Giant Johnson,” Martha said wearing the same get-up as Jane, placing her saggy exposed ass on the throne I’d just vacated. “We’re thinkin’ about becomin’ the fuckin’ nannies for the boy. Just ask Astrid how we protected Samuel. I almost twisted off a Fairy schlong with my bare hands.”
“She did,” Jane confirmed. “Fairy screamed like his balls were bein’ torn off.”
“Well, they were,” Martha pointed out as I winced in phantom pain.
“Mmmkay,” I said, thinking it might not be such an outlandish idea to keep Martha, Jane and Mammy around to help with our boy. Especially since I wanted Lizard back in Hell fulltime.
Wait. It was a shitty idea. Martha and Jane drove me to the point of insanity. Because of Martha’s bare ass on my throne, I would have to incinerate it after the party. I loved my damn throne. It was huge. However, the fact that they’d gone after the nuts of a Fairy was impressive. Fairies were one of the fiercest and most deadly species alive. I’d put it on the list to ponder. Right now, I needed to concentrate on blackmailing the BFF of my dreams.
“You’re sure about me stepping away for a moment?” I asked Elle, not feeling completely secure about straying from her side.
“Positive,” she promised. “Go blackmail Steve Perry. Make me proud.”
“Is that a challenge?” I inquired with a grin.
“It most certainly is,” she purred. “And the reward if you succeed will blow your mind.”
My pants grew uncomfortably tight, and I considered scooping her into my arms and leaving the party. We could put Luke to bed and then have a little fun for