but it’s rather difficult to shove my head that far up my ass.”
“I find that hard to believe,” God said with a wide grin as his bright blue eyes twinkled with mischief. “You’re fucking Satan. Right? I’d think you were quite limber.”
The son of a bitch had bested me. Rare, but possible. The only thing to do now was electrocute my brother. I had to save face. It was my party after all.
Raising my hands high, I prepared to smite the good guy. It would be the talk of the century.
“Absolutely not,” Astrid hissed as she came up behind me and whacked me in the head. “You will not set your brother on fire. I worked far too hard on this bullshit party for you to get your panties in a wad and ruin it. You feel me, Uncle Fucker?”
God simply stood there and smiled. What a dick.
“I go commando,” I snapped, knowing my niece was correct.
“So does Ethan,” she said with a giggle as she hugged God. “I’m so happy you came. Is Cousin Jesus here?”
“He is, my child,” God said with a nod and a chuckle. “He’s standing by, just in case you run out of wine.”
I couldn’t help myself. I laughed. As much as I loved to hate my brother… I secretly loved him and always would. Fate had handed down a harsh decree at the beginning of time that had torn us apart. But all through eternity, we had always been connected and always would be.
“Good one, Uncle God,” Astrid said with a laugh. “Uncle Fucker, you need to make the rounds at some point and say hello to your guests.”
“Can’t leave Elle unattended for too long,” I said, glancing back at my mate with pride. “We never apprehended the one who wanted to destroy the party and try to kill me.”
God’s eyes narrowed and shimmering white crystals burst around his head forming a halo. It was impressive. “Who is trying to ruin my brother’s day?” he demanded as a sharp wind blew through the room. “I will not allow it—even though it pisses me off that you have a birthday and I don’t.”
“Look,” I said, pulling God aside as Astrid scurried off to speak with the caterers. “Mom can’t remember shit. She was joking when she pulled the date April 1st out of her ass.”
“She does have a wicked and alarming sense of humor,” God whispered, glancing around to make sure our mother wasn’t within earshot.
“I’d describe it as warped,” I said. “However, calendars didn’t exist at the beginning of time.”
“Ahh,” God said, nodding thoughtfully. “So, if I just grabbed a random date, you would support it?”
“If you support April 1st for me, I will have my people lie to the world about your day as well,” I replied.
“I shall give it some thought,” God said with a chuckle. “And happy birthday to you and your beautiful boy.”
“I prefer womb eviction day,” I said. “But thank you.”
“I’m sorry. What?” God asked with his mouth agape. “Did you just say thank you?”
“Fuck,” I muttered. “I think I did. Can you keep that between us?”
“With pleasure,” God replied with a laugh. “Times, they are a-changin’,”
“Yes, they are,” I replied. “Excuse me, brother. I need to see if my mate needs anything.”
“You do that,” God said. “I believe I spotted Dr. Ruth. She’s so cute. I shall find her and chat.”
“The evening is spectacular,” Elle gushed happily as another group of Immortals finished paying their respects and then joined the rest of the party. “So many people love you, Devil.”
I gazed out at the masses as Elle and I sat atop our massively ornate jeweled thrones and shuddered. “I certainly wouldn’t go that far, Siren. Bad for the badass rep.”
“Well, I love you and so does the little boy sleeping in my arms,” she said with her hand on her heart.
“That’s all I need,” I told her, looking down at our beautiful creation. “Should we leave and put him to bed?”
“Not yet,” Elle insisted. “Your mother is going to pole dance. Martha and Jane are joining her. I wouldn’t miss that disaster for anything.”
“Shit. Really?” I asked, feeling queasy.
“Really,” Elle confirmed with a laugh then turned more serious. “Is there any more news about the one trying to end the party? I’m still experiencing a little leftover violence from the birth. I’d love to have a go at someone trying to harm you and keep me from the cake. Nursing makes me hungry.”